Free Falling into Darkness
by Lo21
Summary: Tris and Tobias & others try to rebuild their lives and faction after the deadly simulation-controlled bloodbath. Who are the real enemies and allies when there's so much corruption? How will their world change? What IS their world now? Rating T to M. Written after Divergent & before Insurgent.
1. Free Falling into Darkness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The end of the book, Divergent:

"I am no longer Tris, the selfless, or Tris, the brave. I suppose that now, I must become more than either."

Roth, Veronica (2011). Divergent (Divergent Trilogy) (p. 487). Harper Collins, Inc.

***~*A/N: For some of my readers who have found this story due to being on my author alerts,this is a story based upon the book, DIVERGENT. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it!***~*

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><p><strong>Free Falling into Darkness <strong>

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><p><strong>TRIS POV<strong>

He loves me. The words barely register in my mind, but I hear it echoing inside my head even among the strong scent of copper from the blood on and around me. It was the day's tragedies that brought us here. My arm aches now that I am still, and my wound feels ten times worse than when I had adrenaline pulsing through me.

Marcus and Peter have moved to the back of the train car, while Tobias, Caleb, and I are in front. Caleb sits next to Tobias and I, but he has widened the three-feet margin and sits alone. It almost seems funny how we are broken up into individual factions. Even in the closeness of the train car, we all try to stay as far from each other as possible. We are all in the same sad, confusing situation.

The hunger in Marcus's eyes from the glimpse of hard drive scares me. He can't be trusted. I want him dead and to suffer a cruel fate, to feel the fear Tobias has experienced. I'll leave that to Tobias to do—he deserves that right. I'm exhausted but I cannot and will not give in to the darkness and find the comfort in sleeping. It probably would result in nightmares anyway. How could I find comfort in sleep when I have lost my parents—twice? I'd lost them once of my own choosing to the ceremony and once not of my own choosing in their violent deaths. I shut my eyes temporarily to try and ease the headache that has come on suddenly, but I only see red. I see the slumping of shot bodies and hear the loud bang of the gunshots. I feel the sting of the bullet piercing my shoulder. I feel the cold metal of the gun's barrel pressed against my forehead and Tobias' vacant and cold stare. A shiver creeps up my spine and I almost feel the bullet still lodged inside my skin, even after it had been removed.

I really should be dead along with everyone else who lost their lives to the zombie-like massacre. I see my fears played out in real life on what seems like a movie reel burned inside my eyelids. My heart is heavy with death and loss, my family has been taken in a matter of minutes, and the community I had been counting on is completely broken and corrupt. I feel lost and I don't feel like I will have time to mourn. Maybe I had already mourned them by leaving Abnegation.

Tobias is here, however, to help me from feeling too far gone. He rubs my hand and I know that I still have him. And, I still have Caleb. Caleb looks older somehow even if it hasn't been very long since we'd seen each other. I see a change in him. Is he the brother I have known all my life? Was it just a mask for this person, with a crease in his forehead, so impossibly smart, hidden by the faction we had to betray? He was successful and mother was right; he was just a little too late for a warning. It's hard to do in such a confined space, but I appreciate the extra space and sudden interest he has taken to his fingernails and walls of the train. I can tell he is trying to give Tobias and me some privacy.

I glance behind me to see how Peter is doing. With the heavy labored breathing from him, I can tell he is in pain. He continues to clutch his arm and I see the blood soaking through the piece of fabric that was once my father's shirt. He winces from the pain and I turn back around so I don't have to see or smell it.

Did I do the right thing? Will Peter ever really be on our side? Even though the screech of the train and jagged movements of the train break up the silence, we are mostly stunned into a quiet silence. I think we are in a state of shock. The sounds of the train almost seem like a melody of screeching metal and wood drumming. What a haunting song.

_What am I going to do? What will we do? How will this be sorted? What will the other factions do? _

I sit shoulder-to-shoulder with Tobias and the way his broad shoulders casually touch mine make me feel a wave of different emotions. I'm not alone, I can continue on, and I'm now loved by someone who is not my immediate family. I spy his facial expression even though he is not looking directly at me. He has a serious look on his face and I watch him for a bit almost seeing a silent conversation in his head. The air feels especially cold right now and the wind seems to have picked up significantly. I hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance and I abruptly straighten up and shift to lean over and kiss Tobias on the cheek. His serious expression turns into a grin as I look into his beautiful moon reflecting blue sapphire eyes.

"What was that for?" Tobias asks softly. We are careful to keep our voices low.

"I think I love you, too," I say. "You make me feel safe."

He winks at me. "You think you do huh?" He pauses. "You discredit your braveness, Tris. But, as long as you have a_ reason_, I can accept that." I smile and follow it with a yawn. He moves to lightly touch my collarbone over the tattoo of one of my ravens. It's only then that I realize how much more my tattoos mean to me. Two of the three symbols for my family have flown away out of this world and onto the next. Life is hard and short.

I lean just a little bit closer and he drops his hand from my tattoo to reach around my waist and clutches me closer. My head droops over Tobias' chest and I hear the sound of his heart. It beats at a regular even pace. He is fearless and brave, and I wonder if I am the only one who can see his beautiful soul shining through. I feel weak after everything that has been done and I wonder if showing this weakness will prove that I could have only faked being Dauntless for so long. I feel another one of his walls partially coming down. It is gentleness behind his fearlessness. I also see a strong leader and I hope to get there myself one day, but what use would it be without a normal faction? Am I factionless or can the Dauntless rebuild and bounce back?

When our backs are against the wall, death envelops us, and there is more confusion than answers, I know that Tobias has my back. Our normal is gone, spirits broken, and we are bruised and literally hurt. I count the beating rhythm of his heart. I didn't think it was possible, but he actually pulls his arms tighter around me, like he's trying not to lose me. It's true. He makes me feel secure and safe. I hope it makes him feel safe too. For now, the short-term plan is to get to the Amity headquarters and get help. If ever there were a time to let someone help, it is now.

"It's gonna to be okay," he whispers aloud. I can't tell whether he means that for himself, me, or both of us.

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><p><strong>AN #2- Thanks for reading!**

Thank you to piperann for editing and The Sweetest Blasphemy for pre-reading and giving me the extra push to publish.**  
><strong>

Posting this story is really scary for me. I've only ever written for another fandom, but I'd love to hear your thoughts/comments/opinions. Shall I continue? If I hit a certain number of reviews, I'll continue it, so don't forget to set your story alerts. Also, I plan to stray a little bit OOC, that means I will take certain liberties that may be considered out of character, for example: hearing Tobias curse. Also, I am going to code the story as rated T for now, so I can be listed, but if I continue, I will move it to the M category.

~*Lo*~


	2. It's too Dark

**A/N **I'm not Veronica Roth, so I own nothing, but my original story. **Warning:** there will be themes later in the story which may not be suitable for readers younger than 16. This story will move into an M rating later on in the story, to include: sexual themes and language. Please pay attention to the ratings before each chapter. **This chapter is rated: T.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: It's Too Dark<strong>

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><p>Outside of the city, past the farm lands, nestled among a forest of horse chestnut, ash, oak, and honey locust trees, stands the Amity headquarters. In Faction History, we've been taught that disease and people's destructive habits nearly wiped out all of the trees. When the founders of our factions started to rebuild our world, a solution was found. The researchers in Erudite were able to not only find a cure for the diseased trees; they were able to speed up the growth process. In literally a quarter of the time, we had tripled the amount of trees. Although the first trees were grown in Erudite laboratories, the first tree that was planted and thrived grew in Amity. Their faction symbol is a replica of that first tree and symbolizes their love and nurturing for nature and humanity.<p>

A flag containing their faction symbol whips violently against the pole in the wind as we walk from the tracks toward help. Their buildings are mostly tall, glass, and the architecture is a modern design, much more modern than in Abnegation and Dauntless. I can't help but also notice that the buildings have a way of blending in with the surrounding nature, and the colors coordinate with the plants and trees.

My arm is rigid and a pulsing sting shoots from my arm into my back. My stitches need to be replaced. There is a light mist of drizzle that scratches at our faces as we get near, but the real rain has yet to come. My eyes try to take in the scene, but there is so much movement that I don't know where to look first. We must look like zombies from a distance since we are dirty, bloody, and moving very slowly. There are people in stretchers being carried away in the distance. I can't tell if it's early morning or late at night, all I know is it is still dark. From the look of the scene in front of me, the entire Amity population is out assisting with injured people. A sea of people in red and yellow clothing are scattered around the grass and sidewalks.

"Wait!" Caleb says, grabbing my uninjured arm and pulling me to a stop.

"Are you kidding me?" Peter growls, "I'm bleeding to death over here, I can't stay here and wait for you!"

"Go on ahead," Tobias says calmly. "We need just a few minutes."

"I'm not injured and I'm factionless. I shouldn't be here," Caleb says loud enough for only me to hear.

"Marcus, you too, we'll be right there," I add.

"But, I don't thin—"

"Go!" I yell. I am annoyed that he won't give us the privacy my brother obviously wants. I see a flash of anger wash over Marcus' face and I feel like I'm back in Tobias' fear landscape. As quickly as the anger appears on his face, it is gone just as fast. He hurriedly catches up to Peter who still has not managed to get very far.

Caleb talks quiet and fast. "I can't stay here. I'm going back to Abnegation, to check on the others…and the house and...Susan. I'll get a few things, hide out until it settles down and then I'll come looking for you."

"Caleb, no! Stay with us, please," I beg. "I can't lose you too!" I feel the tears forming behind my eyes. I know what I say is stupid; I had already lost him. _Faction before blood. _ I have to shut my eyes momentarily to keep myself in check. Tobias places a soothing hand on my back and rubs me gently. I know I'm on the edge of a full-on breakdown.

"I'll be fine. And, I'll be back to look for you as soon as possible. I don't think it's a good idea to be seen together. You are still Dauntless and I used to be Erudite, there's no room for me."

"Yes there is!" I exclaim.

"Please. Just trust me Beatrice," Caleb says with finality. I flinch at my former name. I've heard it so much recently. it reminds me of what I used to be.

He looks me directly in the eyes. "I love you, please be safe." He turns to look directly at Tobias. "Take care of her."

With those final words, he runs back into a tangle of trees and I don't even have the chance to respond. I have a strong feeling that I'll never see him again.

We quickly catch up to the others who still have not got close enough for anyone to notice them. After another ten feet, we see forms running toward us.

"Oh my goodness!" a voice says. "You poor things!"

A young woman carrying a flashlight in yellow medical scrubs reaches us first. A few others trail right behind her. I see her ID tag shows her name as Elle and reads: Medical Doctor. The three others in her group arrive shortly after, out of breath. She sets a box down on the grass and pulls out a bottle and gauze.

"We're here to help you," she says soothingly with genuine concern in her eyes. "How many of you have injuries?" She scans everyone and eyes my arm but doesn't touch it.

"I'm fine," I say. "He's the worst off." I point to Peter. A man from the group rushes to Peter's side. "He's losing lots of blood!" he shouts, "We need to get him medical attention now!" The man ushers Peter away from our group and I see a second group of people rush over with a stretcher. I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't do it because he is getting help, but because every minute he stands with us makes me uneasy.

"Tobias. Wow. I haven't seen you in ages," Elle says. "Are you okay?"

"My name is Four," he says with clear irritation. "Tris isn't okay, she needs stitches. Please help her."

"Oh…right," she says, looking flustered.

"I'm really okay," I say. "There's no need to—"

"You're going," Tobias says. She smiles and I see that she has a perfect smile with a dimple.

I take a second look at the girl as she wraps my arm with gauze. She is beautiful, much prettier than me, especially since her hair is not matted and her clothes are not dirty or torn. Her hair is pulled back in a neat dirty blonde ponytail but I can tell it is long, wavy, and shiny. I also see that she has green sparkly eyes. I wonder how she knows his real name.

"You both need to come with us, we need to document your names and injuries," an older woman states.

"Have you heard of the status in Abnegation?" Marcus asks her.

"We don't know much right now. A large group has been sent to Abnegation to investigate the situation, but it's been chaotic and doesn't seem to be very organized. We don't know how many people have been injured or…killed. It's so terrible."

"Can I borrow a phone?" he asks.

"Sure, but are you okay, Marcus? We are supposed to bring you in for observation," the woman in red scrubs asks. Since he's a political leader, most people know him by name.

"Yes, Yes, I'm fine. I don't even have a scratch," he replies. "Son, will you be okay?"

"Of course!" Tobias snaps. I squeeze his palm, hoping to calm him the way he did for me when Caleb was getting ready to leave. It bothers me that all of a sudden Marcus is pretending to be concerned and the perfect father in front of these people. It's probably because he is in front of an audience. Marcus nods and heads to what seems like the main building.

Elle gives us directions to get to the "waiting area" to see a doctor in one of the buildings. We head off on our own, but are stopped many times by people asking to help. We aren't at the main hospital, but since one of the popular career choices in Amity is in the medical field, they have the second largest hospital in the city.

"I don't know if it's wise to say my real name," I whisper to Tobias as we make our way to the right building. Having possession of the hard drive is making me paranoid. "That girl already knows your name, should I give mine?"

"I don't see the harm in it, the Amity will help us. We should be safe here for at least a little while."

His words put me at ease. I want and could sleep for twenty-four hours straight. I'd much rather dream than deal with the nightmare that is my current reality.

Once we have made our way to the right building, someone takes our names and factions. We walk down a hallway with a messy handwritten sign that says, "Major/Minor injuries: Dauntless." I don't see signs for Abnegation and wonder if they are being housed in another building or if they are keeping everyone there. They put a medical wrist band on my wrist with a barcode. Tobias doesn't have to wear one since he is not seeking medical attention. As we look around, I search for people that I might know. Tobias appears anxious A he also searches the crowd of people. The people that I can see or who I've passed to get here are unknown, blank faces. I haven't even seen Peter. If the people I know aren't injured, are they dead?

It is chaotic in the area that they have designated for waiting. There are no seats left, Tobias and I stand among a group of Dauntless with various types of injuries.

I see people rushing about with files in their hands. Someone is crying. Monitors beep loudly in the background. The room seems to turn on end and my arm throbs.

From somewhere close by I hear a loud shriek. I've heard it before; it is familiar. It sounds like sheer terror. The voice… I heard the same terror before, on the first day of initiation.

"Where is he? Where is he? I can't find him! Please tell me where he is?"

_Christina. _Her voice is urgent, scared, wild. _  
><em>

She's alive, and I'm relieved, but there's no way I can face her. Not after what I did. She can't see me from wherever she is and I hope that she doesn't. Not now anyway.

I look into Tobias' eyes for a split second—so perfectly blue—before the light leaves my eyes and I fall into black.

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><p><strong>AN 2: Thanks for reading! Reviews make Tris brave. Leave me your thoughts/comments, so I'll know that I'm not writing for myself. Or, if you can't think of anything to say, tell me who you want to cast as Four/Tris in the Divergent movie. Keep reviewing & I'll keep writing. **

Thank you, piperann for help w/ editing!**  
><strong>

I really wanted 10 reviews in order to continue on to this chapter and for a little bit, I didn't think I would make it. I thank each and every one of you for your comments. It means A LOT to me to hear from you readers. If you have any questions, please send me a PM.

Also, if you are looking for something to read before the next chapter, please read/review my Four POV O/S, called **Drink, Drank, Drunk**. It is a supplement to this story.

Finally, I made a banner for this story, click on my profile to see it!

xoxo

Lo


	3. Beware of Birds

**Chapter 3: Beware of Birds- this chapter is rated T.**

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><p><strong><strong>~OOO~<strong>**

**Tris**

I'm alone.

My feet crunch on yellowed grass; it sounds like snow crunching under heavy boots. I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. The blades of grass are dead, like pieces of hay, baking in the sunlight. I turn my attention to the sky and place a hand up to shield my eyes from the brightness.

The sun is red.

"What the—"

A warm drop of thick liquid hits my shoulder, and I see a single line of blood drip down my arm. I'm not in pain so I know it can't be mine. I try to wipe it off with one of my hands, but more blood gushes out from my arm like a bubbling spring; it is unstoppable. My hands are shaking and applying so much pressure that I know I may be bruising my shoulder. It is definitely my blood, yet I still feel no pain. Panic spreads over me as the pressure I'm applying does nothing to stop it. My hand is slipping.

I'm going to bleed to death.

It is then that I feel pain begin to spread in both of my hands. It causes me to lose the grip on my shoulder. I examine my hands and see a gold bullet peeking underneath my skin in each of my hands. Someone has shot me.

"What is going on!" I scream.

I feel dizzy and light-headed and know I need to get help soon.

Suddenly I see something catching the light of the red sun about twenty feet away. It's the metal of the security gate. There are three Dauntless guards that stand next to the fence with their backs turned away from me. They seem to be distracted or discussing something.

"Hey! Help me!" I yell as loud as I can. They don't turn.

"_You are brave, Tris. _I hear Tobias say. _"You can get through this. It will be okay." _

But he's not here and I'm dying and no one cares. I make myself run but feel queasy and weak. I can't give up.

When I get within ten feet of the gate, the guards turn around and put up their guns, shouting at me.

"Don't come any closer or we'll shoot!"

"I'm injured! Please help me!"

I stumble forward and hear the loud bang of a gun firing. One of the guards shoots me in the chest. The pain is excruciating; it slices through me like a carving knife and I feel the blood spill from my shirt. I immediately fall and hit the hard, straw grass with a fall that feels like it could have cracked my skull.

_This isn't fair, I didn't even get a second warning! Aren't the guards supposed to protect us?  
><em>

I see feet running toward me, but I can no longer move, my eyes flash. Black. Red. Black. Red.

"Tris? What happened?" the voice says, cautiously.

Christina casts a shadow over me. I see her flashing over a film of red, but she still looks beautiful and I've never been more relieved to see a friendly face.

"They shot me," I utter.

"And you don't think you deserve it? I _know_ what you did."

I know I'm dying from my wounds but the thing that kills me the most is the expression on her face. It is disgust and disappointment. She knows I killed Will without even telling her. I watch her turn and walk away, while crows descend from the sky toward me and greedily pick at me like a dead carcass. I don't even fight them, I might as well be their carrion.

I pray for death to carry me away.

**~OOO~**

**Tobias**

I run my hands roughly through my hair, tapping my foot. I hate hospitals. I hate waiting.

Sit.

Stand.

Pace.

How much longer do I have to wait?

I need to see her, I need to hear that she'll be fine. She fainted and momentarily lost consciousness for a minute or even less, but it felt like thousands of minutes. Seeing her crumbled on the floor, body limp, eyes rolled back, and not knowing what caused it was awful. She had been fine just minutes earlier. Luckily, we were in the right place to seek help. She was immediately rushed to the city hospital when there was no more room for her to be treated immediately in Amity headquarters. On the ride over, she claimed to see crows picking at her arm. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away and cried that it was all her fault. I refused to leave her, but the doctor told me that they couldn't help her unless I got out of the way. Tris is being treated for her bullet wound, symptoms of shock, and I was told that she had a dangerous fever that was causing hallucinations.

As I wipe the tiredness from my eyes, I feel a presence and hear footsteps. I turn to see Tris's doctor walk in with a clipboard. I jump up to meet him.

"We've got some new stitches in her, she's being treated for dehydration and her fever has broken. She'll be fine. We would recommend she stay until tomorrow morning for observation," he said.

I sighed a big breath of relief. "Can I see her?"

"She needs to rest, but I suppose it would—"

He didn't need to tell me twice. I rush over to her private room and see her pale-looking face staring back at me. Her hospital bed is an upright position. Her eyes light up and a shy smile emerges as she watches me walk inside the room. Her blond hair is matted and thick bandages are wrapped around her shoulder. She has tubes connected to one of her arms and three different colored bags of medication hang close by.

I walk to her bed and she reaches out to grab my hand, linking her fingers in mine. She sighs.

"I'm so glad you are alright," I blurt out.

"What took you so long?" Tris asks. "You had me waiting a whole three minutes." She looks up at the clock in the room. Her lip quivers and a lone tear rolls down her cheek.

I sit on the edge of the hospital bed and wipe her tear away.

"I came over as fast as I could. I had to wait until the doctor gave me the okay."

She nods.

"I um ... I need to tell you something," she says before stopping. She chews on her lip and takes a deep breath. I nod for her to continue. "I did something terrible."

"No you didn't—"

She interrupts my sentence. "Will's dead ... and it's my fault."

"What?" I ask. "Where did you? Why do you think you? How did you?" So many questions flood into my mind in incomplete thoughts. I knew there would be a lot of deaths, this is not shocking news. There would be many more, even more of her friends. She must think that she didn't do enough to help him.

"Why do you think it's your fault?" I say cautiously.

"Will found me when I went to look for Caleb and my father. He chased me and pointed a gun at me and I shot him before he could shoot me. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what he was doing. I did. I wasn't under the simulation. I'm a murderer."

I wanted to tell her that those that weren't killed will all have been murderers too, but she knew already. She didn't want to be a killer.

New tears rush from her eyes and I put my arm around her to try and comfort her as best I could. Showing affection is not my strong point; I always try and show a tough exterior. I'm learning.

"Maybe he was just injured. You never know," I offer.

She shakes her head. "I'm sure he's dead." I kiss the side of her head and rub her back as she sobs.

"Did you see Christina?" she asks suddenly. She wipes her eyes and looks at me.

"No. Did you?"

"I didn't see her, but I'm sure I heard her at the Amity headquarters. She was screaming. The next thing I know, I'm in some weird nightmare that felt so real. I think back to the moment right before she fainted, and I remember hearing someone distraught. After that, I couldn't pay attention to anything else but that she was being carried out of my arms and rushed away while I tried to keep up.

"The doctor said that your fever was causing hallucinations."

She cries softly and tries to wrap her arms around me, but she can't move the arm that is connected to the machines and medicine, so she ends up wrapping one arm around me. I scoot over to her to let her drop her head against my shoulder. We stay there for a long time until she has no more tears to cry.

"Do you want to sleep?" I ask softly.

"I don't want to have nightmares," she says. "I can't tell if they're real anymore. You're the only thing that is _real_ right now."

I put my hand up to her cheek, to say something that will make her feel better, but nothing comes to me. Are there really any truthfully comforting words? I lightly touch the side of her head as she leans into my palm and closes her eyes. I use my thumb to brush over her cheek. A nurse walks in and breaks up our moment and replaces one of the bags of liquid medicine or whatever hangs there and checks her heart rate.

"How are you doing, Tris? Do you need something to make you fall asleep? Your body needs to rest," the nurse says.

"No."

"You have to try, Tris," I urge. "You need to get better."

"I don't need anything that is going to manipulate me. I need to be in control," she says unevenly.

The nurse nods and leaves the room. "Let me know if you change your mind."

I understand Tris's apprehension about wanting to stay in control. It's the same thing I want. Our world is now chaotic and unknown and who knows what the next day or days will bring? Will it be better? Worse?

"I'll sleep, if you stay with me. Right here," she says, bringing my hand up over her collarbone. She kisses it.

"Are you saying you want to sleep with me?" I ask, jokingly.

A smile creeps out into a full grin, and I see that glimpse of Tris, before her mother and father was killed, before she had to kill her friend to stay alive, just Tris. She knows that I want to make her smile, even when all she wants to do is hurt.

We will get through this. I sink into the bed next to her, and close my eyes and hear her breathing even out. The machines beep around us and we try to sleep.

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN** Thanks so much for reading and thanks for those of you who take the time out to comment! Don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you. I know that my story is not "Insurgent" and once it comes out, it will not make any sense whatsoever, but that's the beauty of fanfiction. This is my version. Thanks for your support. It makes me want to rush out a new chapter just for you! :) Apologies for any mistakes, this chapter is not beta'd.

What to expect from chapter 4: They find Peter and make their way to Dauntless headquarters. What about Caleb?

See ya next chapter. :)

xoxo

Lo


	4. We Meet Again

**Chapter 4: We Meet Again  
><strong>

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><p><strong>~OOO~<strong>

**Tris**

A nurse wakes me from my slumber. I don't even remember having fallen asleep, but it doesn't take long to realize where I am. The beeps from the machines around me, the uncomfortable hospital bed, a new throbbing in my head. _Right. I'm in the hospital._

"Good Morning, Tris, or shall I say_ afternoon_?

I actually feel well rested, but I have no concept of time. How long have I slept? I don't remember any nightmares and that was the best that I could have asked for. The first thing I realize is that Tobias is not here and he's definitely not where I last saw him. He's not even in the room.

"Morning," I mumble. "Where's—"

"It's against the rules to stay past visiting hours, don't ya know?" the nurse says. She has shoulder-length black hair, very pale skin, and appears to be middle-aged. Her name badge reads "Violet." Violet pulls an IV from my arm and fusses with the bags that hang next to me.

"But … he was here, he stayed with me. I talked to him," I say, my voice cracks. My heart thumps rapidly in my chest and I think I must be in a nightmare now. Was I wrong?

"Yes. The young man? He was here, that's for sure!" She shakes her head. "He was very protective of you; almost thought he was going to attack me for asking him to get out of the bed. That is not allowed. It kind of made me think of a guard dog, that one! Almost bit my head off!"

"What?" _What is this woman talking about?_

"Now, I won't say anything because I know you've had a rough time. When I came in for my shift, I found the young man next to you fast asleep. He was snoring up a storm! Both of you could have slept through practically anything."

"Where is he? Where did he go when you kicked him out? Why didn't he wake me?" I say each question immediately after the other. I'm both sad and angry at the same time.

"Don't get your panties all in a bunch," she says, putting a hand on her hip. She mutters something under her breath that sounds like "Just like the boy ..." She steps much closer to me and looks me directly in my eyes. She talks softer. "I let him stay, but you can't say a thing or we'll all be in big trouble." She looks around as if she thinks someone might be spying on her and quickly moves away from me. She goes back to her normal volume. "He should be here soon. He's getting the paperwork ready for your release."

I sigh an exaggerated breath.

"I'm here to help you with a bath or shower," she says after I'm disconnected from all of the machines.

"I can do it," I say.

"Of course you can," she says.

She lifts me out from the bed and I stretch my cramped legs out and take shaky steps toward the in-room shower.

"Let me know if you need anything!" she yells from behind the closed bathroom door.

In the shower, the water cascades down my body making me feel finally clean and … truly alive. I think about my parents and my mother, especially. I learned so much about her in one day then I've ever known in all my entire life. It still feels unreal.

The warm water splashes onto my face and mixes in with fresh tears. I wish I were younger and my mom could come into my room and say, so gently, "It's okay sweetheart." I start to sob and shake so hard that I lose my balance and end up on the floor of the shower. I cry for my parents, and Caleb. I miss them. I'll miss them. I cry because I know I'll forever be haunted by Will and maybe by Christina too.

I take a long shower and only move to get out when the water starts to turn cold. When I get out, I'm clean and I feel somewhat relieved to have had a break-down cry. The sleep helped my focus, and the cry helped my mental well-being. I'm not proud of what I did, however, I did what I had to do to stay alive. I am proud of staying alive. Staying alive may have been the biggest Dauntless test I've ever had to pass. I look at myself in the mirror and see red eyes from all the crying I've done. I dress myself in my dusty clothes and have to fan myself so I show no signs of my break-down before I walk out of the bathroom. I expect to find Tobias there, but he still hasn't arrived and I find myself disappointed.

As I finish brushing my hair, Tobias finally walks in. He takes a few cautious steps inside. He looks like he's also had the luxury of showering, and I wonder where he went to clean up.

"Hi," I say.

He looks at me, _really_ looks at me like he knows that I've been crying when there was no way he could have known. Then, I think it probably has nothing to do with me. Maybe he's found out some news about the rest of our initiation group or his friends.

"Hi. You ready to get out of here?" he asks, taking more steps toward me. I don't ask questions about where we are going or what we are doing next. I just know that I want to get out of the hospital and back to life.

"Yes. Where do we go?"

Tobias looks nervous, he shifts from one foot to the other. His eyes dart away from mine and he doesn't answer me right away.

"I, um. I found out that Peter is here."

"What?" I ask.

**~OOO~**

**Tobias**

"Yes. He's fine," I say. I know this from second-hand experience.

While I was waiting, I bumped into Elle. I still couldn't believe that I'd seen her twice in as many days after not seeing her for three whole years. The last time I'd seen her was the day before her choosing ceremony. She had been a girl that lived on my block whom I'd silently crushed on. It was clear that we cared about each other but tried to be as true Abnegation as possible and suppress our feelings. The day before her choosing ceremony, we'd confessed our true feelings for each other and shared our first real kisses. It was one of my happiest memories pre-Dauntless initiation. I think we both knew that she would not be staying. It was shocking when she chose Amity, but not as shocking as mine would become the following year. I chose a different path, but I always wondered how she'd turn out.

But Elle and I didn't talk about our past, we are different people now. Because of the demand for doctors and nurses, she told me she was bouncing between Amity headquarters and the city hospital. She had been quick with responses to my questions about Peter and said that he was fine; he got help at the perfect time. I think she was under the impression that I was really concerned for him, when in fact I was just curious and trying to get any information I could. I couldn't find anyone else I knew. That is, until I was coming back to see Tris. Marcus found me as I worked my way back. I hated his fake concern, but he claimed to have knowledge, and I listened.

Tris nods her head and throws her hair brush on the bed. She seems lost in her thoughts. I have no idea if her thoughts are of relief that Peter is okay, or that I wasn't here when she woke up.

"Where were you?" she asks.

"Hey," I say, stepping right in front of her. She looks smaller somehow. "I'm sorry I left. The nurse sent me out early this morning; I stayed with you all night. She told me where to go so I could clean up and then I walked around until it was time for the official visiting hours."

She can't really move her shoulder so she drapes one arm around my neck. I wonder when she got so used to showing affection. Almost every day I've known her I have had the pleasure of getting to see something new emerge from her; I see something that comes from inside of her naturally. It's as if it was always there just waiting to bubble to surface and surprise me. She pulls me close to her body in a hug and I feel the heat radiating from her body. She kisses me on the cheek. I grab her chin, feeling the softness of her skin, and pull it down so I can kiss her softly on her lips.

"I was worried," she says when our lips part. "about where you'd gone. It's okay; I'm just happy you're here now." She initiates another kiss on my lips. "I'm ready to get out of here."

"Me too."

I don't blame her for wanting to get out and see what is happening. I am itching to get out there. It feels like we are blindfolded, not having any first-hand experience of what the aftermath of the bloodbath had done to the city. I imagine chaos and confusion. _How did things go so wrong? How has the city functioned for so long without real trouble and all of a sudden it crashes down like a slight wind pushing the lead domino down?_ I also think that with my experience, I may be a choice as natural fit for leadership. It makes me cringe that people might look to me to make tough decisions.

I remember the other thing that made me cautious to come inside and talk about.

"Also, Marcus … found me. Just now." He called the hospital and when he didn't find my name on any of the lists, he found out that you were admitted here. He knew that I'd be where you were. I didn't want to talk to him, but he said he had new information."

"Information?" she says with wide eyes. "What is it?"

I sigh, because I don't know how she will feel about the news. "I want to start by saying that I can't say that what Marcus is saying is the absolute truth, but this is all the information I have." Tris nods and waits for me to continue. "Apparently Max and Jeanine are missing. Eric was caught, because he was shot, and he's in a coma. He's being held in Amity. There have been emergency meetings and every leader is being questioned. They also have determined that a 'significant' loss has occurred in Abnegation. They don't have exact numbers yet. As for the Dauntless lives lost ... we've lost a little over one hundred people and there are a few people that are unaccounted for."

"Wow," she says, sitting down on a chair that was near the bed. Her forehead is creased with worry. "I can't believe the destruction and devastation that this will cause." I see tears behind her eyes. "Are they going to come after us?"

The question is valid. There are only so many places to hide, especially when everyone will be searching, but still, they are powerful people who probably will still have connections and people ready to fight for their cause.

"I don't know," I say.

There are no central prison systems like there were in the old days. Trouble—if it is ever really called that—is dealt with internally, within the individual factions and of course threats of becoming factionless. There is another question that comes to mind.

What happens if they are caught?

Will there be a reinstatement of the practices like prison sentences, the death penalty, and formal trials?

My current focus is to get back and see what kind of change this will bring.

"Does he know anything about Caleb?" she asks, quietly.

Finally, I have a bit of good news in all of the bad.

"Yes. He's being allowed to stay in your parent's home until everything has been sorted."

"Thank God," she says.

Tris laces her fingers through mine and applies a reassuring pressure.

"Let's go."

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN**: Dear readers, thanks so much for reading and for your sweet support. Your comments make me smile and my phone buzz. I like it! It would be awesome if you left me your thoughts on this chapter and help me get to at least 30 reviews. My apologies for any mistakes as this chapter is not beta'd. Also, I'm sorry to end where I did, it's not quite where I promised. The story will continue rolling next chapter. I hope to see ya there!

-~*Lo*~


	5. Home is Where the Questions Are

**This chapter is rated T.**

This chapter is entirely in Tris's POV.**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Home is Where the Questions Are<br>**

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><p><strong>~OOO~<strong>

**Tris**

"I think that the next train will be here in about twenty minutes," Tobias says. "How are you doing?" he quickly adds, looking over at me.

He doesn't slow down as he walks and I'm glad that he doesn't see me as helpless because of my injury. I do, however, notice the shift in his demeanor and how he has gone from concerned-boyfriend-Tobias inside the hospital, to take-charge-leader-Four outside. He is focused and serious, not that he wasn't previously, but it is just on another level now. It was nice to see the concern in his eyes and to feel secure while snuggled in his arms, but it is the leader in him where I can see how his presence and strength make affect me. This is the reason that I walk out with my head held high. He believes in me and knows that I'm not someone who needs rescuing. It is not an option for me to hide under covers when I know there are things that need to be done. I know I'm at my weakest when I feel sorry for myself and weakness can be fatal. He doesn't have to tell me that. _I know._

I also know that he genuinely cares about me. Never mind that we haven't said that we'd loved each other again. We both know actions speak louder than words. Our soft kisses, a squeezed shoulder or hand or a light touch of the skin are more meaningful gestures to us right now. We are slowly learning that showing affection actually matters and is very calming and sweet. Not only that, it makes me feel that I'm making steps toward conquering one of my newest fears.

"I'm fine. I just wish I didn't have this stupid sling," I say, shaking my head. I don't need anything to slow me down and this is not helping matters.

The doctor told me that I needed to come back in a week to discuss the progress of my injury and potentially remove the bandages. My injury was mild and luckily I had been stitched up soon after I was shot. If I believed in luck, I'd say that what happened was pure luck.

We walk quickly toward the train tracks with the ultimate goal of heading back to Dauntless headquarters. My heart feels like it is in my stomach. I dread going back and assessing the damage, seeing the broken glass, reliving the images of my father slouched over, and possibly even smelling blood in the air. My father must have been removed by now, but will I ever see this as my home? One of the things I had looked forward to was moving out of the dorm and into my new apartment on the other side of the Dauntless compound. Am I even allowed to be excited about that anymore?

We hadn't actually formulated a plan on what we were going to do once we got there, it is basically going to be assessing the damage and seeing how we can help. I don't even want to think about how broken the Abnegation—those that made it—are handling everything. And who was helping them?

I have a clear question that keeps coming up. I've said it in my head fifty times, each phrasing a bit different. I can't stand the silence even though it has been only a couple of minutes. I decide to just ask Tobias directly and to the point.

"What should we do with the hard drive?" I ask. "Should we destroy it? Delete it?" It feels like a ball and chain attached to my feet; it is weighing me down. He insisted that I keep it with me even when I tried handing it off to him. I would prefer to blow it up, if I had an option.

"I've been thinking about that." I watch him take a deep breath, his forehead scrunches and I see deep worry lines around his eyes. "I don't think we should," Tobias continues.

"What? Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, maybe," he says. There is not even a hint of sarcasm in his words. He is serious. "The hard drive is evidence. If there is ever a trial or a committee review, or whatever comes next, that thing …" He gestures toward my pocket. "is going to be extremely important. We can't tell anyone we have this, at least not now. We need to see who's in charge and then depending on how it goes, we may need to hide it or hand it over."

I nod. I'm glad he at least has thought about it. I should have known that he would be thinking a few steps ahead.

"That's true. I didn't think about that. But Marcus knows, and so does Peter." Tobias nods as if that was a given. "I don't trust them," I say.

"I don't either… I will handle Marcus, I think he will be the biggest challenge. Peter on the other hand—"

"We need to tell him that he can't say anything," I say, rushing out the words. "I'll be killed!"

He looks at me and I see a flash of concern return to Tobias's eyes. I know that what I'm saying is ridiculous. Going back is going to be dangerous. This simulation was something that was planned for months and the technology could have taken years to get right. We, or rather,_ I_, had unraveled their work before their goal was realized. Tobias and I are going to be obvious targets; there might even be bounties like the ancient days when people were wanted "dead or alive." On the other hand, we are innocent and the sooner we can get our story out, the better protection we may have. Not everyone is corrupt, it will be up to us to see who we can and cannot trust.

"I know," he says softly.

Every friendly face we'd known before had the potential for betrayal. It had been so easy for Al to switch sides, why not anyone else? These people are high-level leaders; they know all the ins and outs. They have been privileged to information that I have no idea about. I was lucky and had escaped death once, but I didn't dare think that the stars would align again and I'd be spared this time. I have a good chance of getting killed, and I'll do everything that I can to go down with a fight, but I know the odds are probably stacked severely against me.

Tobias is silent, too silent, as we continue to walk. All I hear are our feet shuffling through the grass. We are still a bit far from the tracks and although we walk side-by-side, we seem a mile apart in the weighty silence. Something in the back of my mind screams that we need to start thinking about parting ways. I try to suppress it, but all I can think is that the most dangerous people are missing. I need to look for Jeanine and Max and kill them or be killed. I'd rather they kill me themselves than be caught off-guard and be killed internally by someone who I thought was a friend. I will be hunted. Tobias will be hunted.

"I want to say that Peter has no clue what's going on, but I just can't. He's smart and strong. There's a reason why he was removed from the simulation," Tobias says.

"We have to find out what he knows," I mumble in response.

I can tell that there is something more on his mind, but he stops talking. I let the words sink in. How much did Peter know about being Divergent? Does he know more than me? Why had the Dauntless leaders chosen him and what did they tell him? Did he know what was going on or had they kept him in the dark?

An overwhelming wave of fear comes over me. What if we are being watched now? What if spies are aiming their guns at us, right at this moment? We have no weapons and we can't be aware of all angles. I'm not paying attention and my shoe hits a stone that was hidden in the unruly grass. It makes me stumble but fortunately I don't fall. Tobias doesn't even notice my misstep and looks like he's in a foggy daze. The smart thing would be to go different ways until the leaders and masterminds have been caught or killed. I know that together we are an easy target but separating from each other now just isn't an option.

"Hey!"

About halfway to the rails, we hear someone call out and I nearly jump out of my skin because it is loud and frantic. I am already paranoid. I don't know if I should run or freeze. We are out in the open and there is no cover in this part of the city. There are no trees like in Amity and there is nowhere to hide. We've been caught.

"Hey!" a girl's voice shouts again. Tobias doesn't appear worried. He turns back to find the source of the voice and I follow his lead and see two figures running toward us, frantically waving. The closer they get, we finally see who they are: Lauren and Peter. Lauren has a bandage around her head; she carries a thick notebook in one of her hands. Peter appears in good health and has a sling on his arm just as I do.

Lauren is out of breath when she comes to a stop next to us.

"Oh my gosh! Thank goodness. You don't know how glad I am to see you both. You need to come back to the headquarters, Four. Tris, you need to come with me to Amity. I was sent over here to come get you guys and the nurse told me you had just left!"

Although I expected to separate at a certain point, I never thought that it would be this soon.

"Why do we—" I start but I am interrupted by Tobias.

"Who is asking?"

We both look at each other but don't finish our sentences.

"It's terrible, Four. The leaders, they are gone!" Lauren wipes her nose as if she's been crying. "We are activating our emergency plans and some of the older members have assumed leadership roles." She swallows roughly. "A couple of us are looking for missing members here and in Amity."

I look at her wild eyes. She looks like she is on the brink of tears. I don't ask if by "gone" she means missing or dead. I know the rumor at least.

"I was told that I have to go back with you." Peter says, looking at Tobias. Tobias looks confused and Lauren nods.

"Go with him?" I say slowly, even though he isn't directly speaking to me. I feel the way the words taste out in the open air. My heart flutters violently inside my chest. It's not the same as the way I felt when I first kissed Tobias, but is the kind that I felt just before I made the decision to jump into the member's entrance of the Dauntless compound for the first time. I don't stand alone, yet I feel vulnerable; it appears Peter does too. We both have slings and bandages over our arms. His hair is not shiny as it always is; it is tainted with dried bits of blood. He looks to have had a tougher time than I did during my short hospital stay.

"Thanks for this by the way," he mocks, looking at me while pointing to his bandaged arm. Well, at least he's not going to change his whole attitude and personality after this whole ordeal. I don't like knowing where he stands and I know that he had to have been going off of survival instincts to somehow end up on our "side." I don't know if it's the atmosphere, if I am cracking, or if I really think it's funny, but I let out a giggle that sounds like a mix of a strangle and laugh.

"You're welcome," I sneer.

"Stop being a smart-ass," Tobias says to Peter. He gives him a look that if possible could be throwing daggers. I watch the amusement in Peter's eyes fall and catch a small glimpse of a young child being scolded. "Why does Peter need to come with me and what does Tris need to go to Amity for?" he asks Lauren.

"The interim leadership wants you to take a permanent position. Everyone knows that you should have been one, anyway. There will be some questioning first of course, but decisions need to be made at headquarters and we need your help, Four. Please?"

"I will help, I just don't necessarily think it should be an official position," he says.

The train's horn blares in the distance. I can't see it yet, but it must be getting close if we can hear it.

"We don't have time to debate this, Four," Lauren says, looking into the distance.

"Tris is coming with me," he answers immediately.

"How sweet," Peter mocks. "We have real work to do, enough of the kissing already."

"Really, Peter? How old are you?" I say, shaking my head.

Our back and forth exchanges are short-lived because the train is upon us. We each jog along the train, and take turns easing into the train car. Despite our injuries, we make it inside with little struggle.

**~OOO~**

Peter and Lauren fall into the net first, followed by Tobias, and I am the last to fall.

We are home, or at least, what is supposed to make me feel like home.

Inside it is less chaotic than I had originally thought and is eerily quiet for this time of day. I don't hear the usual sounds of laughter or shouting, and I don't see people running about. I grasp Tobias's hand and don't even realize that I'm doing it, until my fingers feel the warmth of Tobias's fingers. My heart is beating so fast, I'm sure it can be heard and that Peter is going to tease me about being scared.

"I'm guessing you guys want to get some of your things, check on the status of some of your peers," Lauren says to me and Peter. She takes out her notebook. "We need to stop at the dorms first anyway, the move hasn't been coordinated yet and we need to make sure everyone else is on the same page first."

When we are at our destination, Peter opens the door and strolls inside our dorm room. Lauren follows. I pause a few steps from the door and let my fingers slip from Tobias's hand. The door remains open and I hear voices inside communicate with them. Tobias looks over at me, giving me the nod to go ahead. When I make the move to walk in, I feel Tobias's presence behind me.

Besides Lauren and Peter, only two people are inside. I don't see the one person I expect to.

"Tris! I'm so glad you are alright!" Uriah charges toward me and I back up almost hitting the wall in my rush to back away. My first instinct is to be fearful even though I should be relieved and happy to see him. He doesn't notice my apprehension, and brings me into as tight an embrace as possible while trying not to hurt my arm. At the same time, I see Marlene focused on Tobias.

"I knew you were safe, Four," she says. She doesn't embrace him, but it doesn't escape my sights that she rubs one of his arms. Uriah then acknowledges Four and Marlene comes over and gives me a hug.

"What are you guys doing in our dorm?" I can't help but ask. I try to say it gently, but I'm unsure if it comes out accusingly.

"We heard that you guys were alive and well, we wanted to be here when you got here," Uriah says.

"Out of the ten of us initiates, six are confirmed alive," Marlene says. It's not as bad a ratio as I expected, still that is four people that are either missing or dead. Before I can ask about the other four people, it is answered.

"Two are confirmed dead and two are still missing," Lauren finishes.

"Who are the ones that are confirmed dead?" Peter asks.

"You may want to sit down," Uriah tells me, even though it was Peter who has asked the question.

I sit down on the nearest bed. Peter remains standing but crosses his arms. Tobias leans against the wall.

"Lynn and Will," he says, shaking his head.

I knew about Will, but Lynn is a surprise. I run my hands through my hair, and can't hold back the realness of the situation. Tears slowly come from my eyes until all I can see is a blurry room. Uriah puts his arm around my shoulder.

"I know that you are probably most concerned about Christina," he says. "There's still hope for her. Someone thought that they'd seen her, but she is missing as of right now."

"She was in Amity," I croak.

"What?" everyone says almost nearly at the same time.

"You saw her?" Peter asks.

"No, but I heard her."

"I checked with the nurses at Amity and at the city hospital and she was not on any of their lists," Lauren says.

I look at Tobias to back me up, silently communicating with my eyes for assistance. He finally comes over to me and sits on the other side of me.

"I didn't see her or hear her," he says. "I wasn't paying attention though. I was concerned that you had lost consciousness. There was just too much going on." He squeezes my leg just above my knee and it is comforting but still I'm confused.

I look around at blank faces and feel like I'm crazy. Have I lost my mind?

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN** Thanks for reading! You're still reading right? Anyone? lol Did Tris imagine Christina's voice? Why isn't her name on the list? It would be cool if you let me know what you think by clicking on that review button. I might be a bit biased, but... I'm pretty sure I have the coolest group of readers/reviewers. :) And, have you seen the "Insurgent" cover and official summary? **ASDDFHFHGHG!** (That's me fangirling.)

Also, I apologize for any mistakes. This chapter is not beta'd.

-~*Lo*~


	6. Leadership

**Chapter 6: Leadership**

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><p><strong>~OOO~<strong>

**Tris**

"I need everyone's attention!" the man shouts. His voice is deep and booming and has a sense of authority and urgency to it. I focus on the two silver lip rings on the corner of his mouth. In one hand, I clutch the slip of paper with the letter "A." The room is filled with nervous chatter and thick with tension, but it quickly lowers to a slight buzz. I can't stop thinking about how Christina is missing and how I heard her, I _know _I did. I'm the only one who knows, not even Tobias can back me up. What could have possibly happened to her that she is now considered "missing?" It is actually nice to get a break from myself and my nagging brain as I wait eagerly for the man to speak and give us something to be hopeful about.

I've seen this man before but I've never spoken with him. He looks to be in his early thirties, if I had to guess, and has a long, thin body frame and olive-colored skin. He is intimidating and very tall, at least 6'5. The man wears a black sleeveless shirt that shows off his full-sleeve shoulder-to-wrist tattoos on both muscular arms and has short spiky electric blue hair.

I'm standing with our initiate group, or at least the ones that have already made it back. Uriah has hand casually draped over my shoulders, which I find comforting since Tobias is presently across the room. We are gathered in the dining hall, just like the last "normal" day we were here. Lauren, Shauna, Zeke, Tobias, and three others who I don't know stand on the right side of the man that has gotten our attention. Occasionally Tobias shoots me an encouraging look from across the room and I try to give him, what feels like a strained smile in return. To the man's left is a larger group of people with what I assume are the new leaders. They are all a bit older and look confident, which is very encouraging for this impromptu meeting.

"I know I don't personally know each and every one of you, but as official speaker, and one of the interim Dauntless leaders, I'd like to formally introduce myself. The name's Alexandre. I know a bunch of you have questions and we don't have all the answers right now. _Believe __me_, we all want those answers and we will try our best to get them answered as fast as we can. While we may all put blame on certain former leaders, we are not going to crumble and fold. That is not what we believe in. We will, however try to get on with normal operations. The leaders standing beside me have been put in charge of certain tasks." He motions with his hands as he introduces the leaders, and they each step forward and raise their hands. When Tobias is introduced and raises his hand, I think back to a conversation we had, just before things had settled down in the dorm room and he was ushered off away from me. When he returned, he said that he was told that he _had_ to take a leadership position because of his experience. We barely had any chance to discuss the details, before we had to rush to gather here, but he looked visibly upset. I needed to talk to him, in private.

"If they ask you to do something, you _will_ do it, and without hesitation. We will not give second-chances and I suggest that you do what you are told, when you are told or face being factionless."

"You can't do that! We've already earned our spots here!" someone, a male voice, yells from the back. Everyone turns to see who has spoken up. I don't even bother because I can't see who it is from where I am and it's useless because I'm surrounded all around by the too-tall crowd.

"Oh can't we do just that?" he says, smiling. "We are basically starting with the bare minimums. We will have new guidelines to draw upon. Also, there will be stricter rules for at least awhile until things get back to normal. There will be curfews every night beginning at 9:30 p.m. which will go into force immediately and we will have patrols to enforce these rules. Anyone found breaking the curfew will be brought in for questioning. Because of the new hours, some of the shops will have modified hours, but we are allowing business as usual with the exception of hours of operation. The lunchroom will still serve food and a lot of you will be doing the same things you were doing before. I know that a lot of you feel betrayed and hurt, and may feel like you want revenge. I urge you to speak with the volunteers from Amity to help you with those thoughts. We are not all corrupt and you mustn't think that way. You're still assigned to go to work and will still report as you did previously. There will be certain groups that will be formed within the next days and weeks that will be part of special projects, but only those people will have privy to that knowledge, at least for now." He looks around the crowd, scanning his eyes over the people that are hanging on his every word. "We will meet here at the very least, once a week and, if necessary, we will meet here every day. We haven't used the alarm system in ages, however, we as your new leaders have decided to activate the emergency plan. If you hear the alarms go off, we will meet here and give you any breaking information."

The crowd starts chatting and the volume in the room once again rises. He puts his hands up, before shouting again to get order. "We've divided everyone in groups assigned by letters which corresponds to who your immediate reporting leader or leaders will be. People glance down at their slips of paper. My group has the letter "A" but I can see others around us with different letters in their hands. As I look around at the people around me, I see someone I was hoping to see again. The last time I saw her, she was yielding a gun and killing an Abnegation council member.

Tori.

Uriah squeezes my shoulder and leans down to my ear, he doesn't notice that my mind is racing with thoughts of the hard sounds of bullets and reliving the red pictures of death in my mind.

"'A' group is the best group to be in, because it has me in it," he whispers. I force myself to smile, but I tune out everything else while I focus on Tori.

I'm glad to see her and better, she doesn't seem to be injured. She has become somewhat of a mentor to me and it is a bit of a relief to know that there is someone else I can go to with my concerns. As I'm looking at her, she appears to feel my stare and catches my eye. There is a moment where I see her face go from recognition to concern to seeing her chest rise with a deep breath. She nods slightly to acknowledge that she's seen me.

**~OOO~**

After the meeting the crowd divides and people go to their immediate reporting leaders for more information; I don't get to speak to Tori. Tobias and Lauren usher our group into the training room and she heads off in the opposite direction. I make a mental note to try to get back to her as soon as I can. Once inside the training room, Tobias steps forward and begins talking.

"We have decided to go ahead with getting you out of your temporary housing into your, as of now, permanent residences. Although we usually choose the apartments based on your job assignments, we thought it would be best to have everyone at one central location. Everyone will have apartments at the opposite end of the compound. If you haven't already packed, go ahead and get your things together. The job assignments will be delayed, and hopefully we will get back to that soon."

We look around at each other and see the same expression on everyone's face: confusion. We all start talking at once.

"So, we're not getting our jobs yet?" Marlene asks.

"That makes no sense, whatsoever," Peter responds. The rest of our group grumbles, before Lauren takes control.

"You need to let us speak. There is a reason for everything we're doing. We have been put on a special assignment."

"What's the special assignment?" Peter asks. That is the first question that pops into my mind, and I'm glad he is the first to ask.

"We… as in all of us?" I add.

"We can't tell you… yet. More information will be forthcoming," Lauren answers. I see a flash of something on Tobias' face. I'm not sure if it is confusion or surprise, but as quickly as it appears on his face, it is gone in an instant.

I decide to speak up. Something is definitely up. "You can't tell us what we're going to be doing? That's ridiculous!"

"That's not what I said. I said, we can't tell you _yet_," Lauren snaps.

I look at Tobias, hoping that he'd use that as his cue to back me up. Although that isn't what he does. He stays silent and avoids my eyes. I feel my face getting hot and my insides get knotted and twisted. I feel like an absolute fool, especially since most of the people here know that Tobias and I have some sort of... relationship. I want to yell, "Tell us something! Why are we, the newly initiated, doing this assignment? What will be doing?" But I don't, because of the serious look on their faces.

"Is the assignment a secret?" Uriah asks at the same time Peter asks, "When will you let us know, then?"

"Questions are over," Tobias states flatly. "We cannot tell you things that we, ourselves, do not know the full details of."

"You're lying. You know that we're doing some assignment, you have to know more than that," Peter says. "Candor born, remember?"

I don't even realize my fists are balled so tight until I feel my nails pierce my skin. I can't believe I'm agreeing with something Peter is saying. I only hope that Tobias will let me know what he knows.

Lauren takes over and despite us trying to hold our ground for answers, there are no answers for us.

"There will be a time for answers. Now is not the time. We have other pressing issues. What we are doing now is issuing the keys for your new apartments."

Despite the group's protests, when the shiny keys were brought out, people couldn't hide their excitement. It was only me and Peter that still had frowns on our faces.

When we were allowed to get back to the dorm, I pushed ahead of everyone to walk by myself and led the way back. We had bags ready for us to pack our items. After Peter and I had packed our things, we moved on to the Dauntless-born dorm area. It was a bit ridiculous that the whole group had to follow Lauren and Tobias around like we were ducklings, but I guess it was their way of keeping order. I sat on the floor in their dorm room and drew lines on the floor with my finger while the larger group of initiates packed their belongings. Tobias kept looking at me, but I refused to meet his gaze. I am just too mad and confused.

**~OOO~**

I guess I kind of see why everyone's excited. We are done today, no other meetings, no more questions, just unpacking and settling into our apartments. I should be relieved that I can spend the rest of my free day and tomorrow to relax, but my body doesn't relax and my mind is still on overdrive. I'm thinking ahead. We are meeting at the training room in two days at 8:00 a.m., to go over our special assignment. That will give the leaders some time to find some of the missing members, or confirm deaths, while they go back and forth between Amity. I'm no longer required to go back to Amity to assist Lauren. I've also been told that although there is nothing formal in place to keep Dauntless and Erudite from the Abnegation headquarters, it is being strongly discouraged. I wonder about funeral services for my parents, and how Caleb is handling everything on his own. I wonder if I'll be able to go to their funeral and if I'll even know when it is.

The apartment complex is surprising large on sprawling land. It is not visible from the train. When we get to the building where we will be staying, I look up and actually feel a bit of pride. I've actually made it. After some parting words reminding us of the next meeting, Lauren and Tobias tell us they will also have temporary apartments in the same building. People scatter and run off to see their new apartments. I wait for everyone else to leave so I can talk with Tobias.

"Do you want to go get your things, Four?" Lauren asks.

"Yeah, go on ahead. I want to go with Tris to find her apartment first."

She looks at him with hard eyes.

"Okay. Just remember what you were told."

I'm growing to really dislike Lauren. She doesn't know what Tobias and I have been through. She doesn't understand that we have a secret that's probably greater than the stupid assignment.

We walk in silence to my door on the second floor. I stand before a blue door with a gold number 408 and use my shiny silver key to enter my new home. Tobias flips on the light and shuts the door and I take in as much as I can. It smells like cleaning products, but is very clean and small. I enter through the living area, which I'm surprised to see already lightly furnished. It doesn't take me long to look through everything. I walk through the tiny kitchen, open two closet doors, a bathroom. When I get to the bedroom, I blush when I see a bed, with a package of new sheets, a comforter, and pillows sitting in the center. I know Tobias is behind me but I misjudge the distance and when I do an about-face, I slam right into his chest.

"Oh, sorry!" I fumble. These are my first words, since entering my new apartment. They are also the first words I've said to Tobias since back in the training room.

He takes my hand and leads me to the sofa where we sit down.

"Tris, listen to me—" he starts before I interrupt. He grips my hand but I shake it loose.

"Please tell me what's going on. Please tell me that you just couldn't say anything because of the others."

He shakes his head. "I can't."

"Then what's the point of this? Why did you stay with me if you aren't going to let me know?"

He stands up and his eyes stare coldly at me. I think he's going to tell me that he's changed his mind about loving me, I think he's going to tell me he doesn't want to deal with my attitude and my ugly lows.

"Because I care about you, damn it!" he yells. I immediately regret it. But all I can think about is that he's keeping something from me. That he knows information that he is choosing to keep to himself. "I understand that you need time to grieve and cry and yell, and I'm not perfect, okay? I don't know how to make you feel better, and I care what happens to you. And I know that what they are asking of us is going to be dangerous!"

"I'm not asking you to be a perfect boyfriend. I'm asking you to give me answers. And what's dangerous? This is what Dauntless is all about it, isn't it? Taking risks? Fighting? Showing bravery when others can't?"

He shakes his head and mumbles. "I don't know what we stand for anymore."

And again the tears start falling, this time in front of Tobias. He looks shocked for a minute and I put my hands over my eyes to try to shield my weakness, to hide the fact that I'm scared.

I feel a shift of the sofa as Tobias sits back down next to me and for a minute I just feel his presence. When he puts his hand on my shoulder, I break. I embarrassingly cry louder and harder. I feel beat. I feel broken and miserable. Maybe I don't feel anything at all.

"We are both under a lot of pressure right now," he says softly. "I promise we'll talk more about everything. If you want to."

I sniff in response to let him know that I agree.

I breathe in his smell, letting it soothe me and lull me in like sleeping pills. It's so comforting I curl closer into him automatically and close my eyes and let myself fall apart. I feel his beating heart and let my head rise and fall with his breaths. He doesn't say anything more and it's still perfect.

Somehow, I had fallen asleep and I wake up with a start to a knocking on my door. I'm curled up on my sofa with my legs tangled in a blanket. When I sit up, my hand slips on a note. My eyes are a bit out of focus, and I rub the sleep out. There is another knock on the door. I read quickly over the note.

**Tris,**

**I'm glad you were able to get some sleep. I went back to my place to get some things. I'm moving into the apartment just one floor below yours. Once I settle in, I'll be back. If you wake before I'm back, I'm in apartment 304. I've also left the phone number to my room next to the phone in the kitchen. I'll lock the door. See ya soon!  
><strong>

**Tobias**

Another knock on the door.

I look at the clock and see it's been at least three hours that I've been sleeping. It's dark in the room because night has fallen.

When I open the door, it is not Tobias.

It's Alexandre and two other men with guns. I'm shocked and frightened to say the least.

"Hello, Tris. You need to come with us," he says.

"What? Where's T—I mean, where's Four?"

"We have some questions for you. He is not of concern right now."

"Where's Four?" I ask again.

"When you give us answers we'll give you more information."

He nods to the two men with him and they come closer to me. I immediately back up and they grab me roughly, one of them squeezes the arm that is bandaged and it hurts so much that I yelp from the pain that shoots through my arm.

"Where are you taking me!" I scream, all of a sudden concerned not about my arm, but for my well-being.

"Calm down, Tris. You're not in trouble," he says, and I am half dragged and half pushed with them back toward the main Dauntless building.

_Do I fight? Do I yell? Do I go quietly?_

Instinct tells me:__ This is it. I'm going to die. __

I start to struggle against the men and yell as loud as I can before one of the men clamps a hand over my mouth.

I feel confident that someone has heard my screams_, _but who's to say that someone will help?__  
><em>_

__**~OOO~**__

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><p><strong><em>AN_**

__**Thanks for reading! Reviews make me write faster, it would rock if you left me feedback. Review please? Reminder: set your story alerts so you'll know when I update. This story will be completed before Insurgent comes out. After Insurgent comes out, I'll consider starting from there again. :) As usual, this is unbeta'd and I apologize for any errors. See ya next chapter!**__

__**xoxo  
><strong>__

**__**-~*Lo*~**__~**


	7. Troubles

This Chapter is rated T. I own my original story but not the characters.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Troubles<strong>

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><p><strong><strong>~OOO~<strong>**

**Tobias**

"I promise we'll talk more about everything. If you want to."

But what could I really tell her? There is a lot at stake and although I can't say anything now, I will do my best to let Tris know that things are being handled. Spilling the details before leadership has declared it appropriate will result in "serious consequences," that's what we were told, anyway.

I made sure Tris was asleep before slipping out of her apartment. I shut the door quietly and jog back to my place. I want to be in and out of my apartment, grab the necessities and drop them off at my temporary place.

Being an instructor is about putting the literal and figurative weapons in hands of students and seeing how they respond to controlled challenges. We've trained our students and given advice based on our own training. We've given countless scenarios to the initiates. We've tested and pushed people to seemingly impossible limits. And no one is perfect; we still struggle with personal fears. Students are taught about conquering, being defeated, and overcoming obstacles. But what happens when things aren't so controlled and contained neatly behind a training room? What happens when things have been a certain way for so long that it's hard to ever imagine anything else? Places haven't been explored and real life isn't black and white. These things haven't happened since the implementation of factions. We will be writing history for future generations to study. What will it say? How many more people will die? And the other factions… who will they side with? Is this a war?

Walking back to my apartment has me thinking how my role of instructor has been at least temporarily changed to _leader. _And with the new job title, how it means that I must now keep information from Tris. And the only thing I could think of to say back at her apartment was that I cared about her. Not that everything would be okay. The fact is, depending on how deep we go into this project, there is a good chance some of us won't be returning. I may have been able to buy Tris and (inadvertently) Peter a bit of time out of the line of fire, while they heal from their injuries. But will it be enough time?

And after today's brief meeting, I fully anticipate for Peter and especially Tris to be incredibly angry when they find out what we're going to ask of them. They want answers but we've been told the time and place for everything to be revealed. Now is not the time. It wasn't too big of a stretch to say that we didn't have all the info on our project/mission, we will have strategy and plans and a bit of communication training. I need to concentrate on working with the other leaders and getting our teams to our ultimate end goal. I may die during our mission, but it will be worth it, if I know that those responsible will have to pay. One way or another.

I don't know how to care about anything—let alone another person. I've never had a pet, and never truly thought of Marcus as my father or cared about his wellbeing. I know that I really do care about Tris and it matters to me that she is safe. I knew from the beginning that watching Tris face the tests would be like watching myself from another point of view. I know that I will always take it personal if I'm a source of her stress; she's been through enough. Did I climb a mountain by saying that I cared for her? Am I weak for letting her safety and health be above mine? How did that happen? And I was not capable of saying that I cared about her calmly. My words were wild and unfiltered and even surprising to hear them aloud.

Why does it hurt to see Tris upset? Why do I feel like I'm being torn apart? Why was it so easy to tell her that I loved her once and not have the guts to say it again?

When I chose Dauntless, it was all about pushing limits, boundaries, exploring what I could be. It wasn't about pretending to be something I wasn't. It was finding what everyone has inside and maximizing those qualities.

The truth is, seeing Tris get hurt, or cry… how am I supposed to help her?

I finally round the corner and get to my apartment. I've passed very few people out and about. Outside there are a couple of moving boxes that Lauren said she'd distributed earlier and I grab them with one hand. I put the key inside my door and I already know something is wrong. The door is closed but it is already unlocked. I'm immediately put on guard.

I take the key out slowly and tuck it in my back pocket. I wrap my hand around the knob, carefully and turn the knob slowly. I lower the boxes back onto the floor. I feel a weird energy.

I swing the door open, flip the light switch, and look into complete disorder. This is the first time since we've been back here that I've been back inside my apartment and it is complete and utter chaos. There are drawers open. My closet contents are scattered along the floor. Items are randomly tossed carelessly on my bed and the floor. I don't have any weapons on me, but I scope out the possible hiding places carefully and find no one inside. I didn't realize the tension in my back and neck until I feel myself relax. I pick up my boxes again and shut the door behind me.

I try to think back to the night when I heard people shuffling in the hallways, and saw them marching along like brain dead soldiers. Did I lock my apartment door when I went to investigate or did I just jump out and start following everyone? I can't remember anymore. It feels like it has been ages since I've been home. I am not the neatest person, but I know I'd never let it look like it does now. I'm not worried about the "things" that I own; I have nothing of real value. And I'm angry. I'm beyond furious. Seeing every drawer opened, my books tossed about, and my closet door practically turned upside has me raging inside. I huff loudly and start pacing the room. I throw one of my overturned boots to a wall and hear it crash and add to the mess perfectly, like it belongs there. I hit the wall so hard that a small hole has formed along with a black scuff mark.

Someone must know that I have the data. And the only people that know that, besides Tris and I, are Caleb, Peter, and Marcus. And if they know, who have they told? What kind of connections do they have inside? It could be literally anyone or it could be a group of people all working together. I have to share this information with Tris now.

I need get my stuff and get back. I'm trying not be paranoid but I can't help but wonder why someone would deliberately be looking for something in my apartment. And when did this happen? Was it while we were in Amity? Was it the same night everything happened? Was it earlier today? There's no way of knowing when this could have happened.

One thing is for certain. Danger isn't going to wait or give us time to plan what to do. Someone has been here. The only time frame I have to go by is that it happened sometime between then and now.

Once I have refocused on getting back to Tris, the goal of getting out as soon as possible motivates me to getting moving. I quickly go through some drawers and start randomly grabbing items to shove in one of the boxes. I toss as many clothes and underwear as will allow along with shampoo, a bar of soap, and my razor. It doesn't feel like it takes me very long, I took more time looking for someone inside and being mad than packing; I take ten or fifteen minutes max. I try to balance the box with one hand to lock the door to my apartment, but it doesn't work out and I have to bend down to drop it on the floor. I lock the door and turn the knob to double check that it's been locked. Just as I'm getting ready to pick up the box, someone speaks.

"Four?"

I turn around and see Alexandre walking down the hallway casually over to me. I decide that now is not the time to tell him my apartment has been broken-in to—if I can even call it that.

"Oh, hey," I say. "What's up?"

"Listen. I need to talk to you more about," he looks around then drops his voice to just a whisper, "S.P.C."

S.P. C., meaning "Special Project Capture." I don't really want to hear any more of the details when I have other things going on. But this is actually happening and I can't exactly say no. We've been assigned as one of several groups to hunt for the missing leaders. We are the ones that will be exploring the city to look for where _they_ are. We are the ones that are going into the factionless parts of the city and wherever we decide necessary.

"I'm gathering the leaders together and we're just missing you. Let's go."

"Um, sure. I just need to drop this stuff off at the new place and then…" He interrupts me. "No. There's no time for that. It won't take long. Leave your stuff here and then you can move it after we talk."

I unlock the door, put the box down on my bed, re-lock the door, and finally follow Alexandre to the meeting room. There is an uneasy silence between us. I'm not in the mood to talk.

When we arrive at the door, Alexandre nods for me to go first. I walk into a sparsely decorated room containing a long metal dining-type rectangular table. Stacks of papers and folders are neatly placed in the center. Mismatched chairs metal and plastic chairs surround it. Several other of the temp leaders are talking amongst themselves and are either sitting or standing. It gets quiet once Alexandre steps into the room after me and shuts the door.

Alexandre motions for me to have a seat. I don't see Lauren or any of the other non-high level leaders. It's just me and the higher tenured new leaders.

"Let's begin."

Everyone is immediately quiet.

"Four. We've got some interesting information from your father. You have some questions that need to be answered."

All eyes look at me. My insides do a flip. We should have known better. He knows too much.

My father.

I don't consider him to be of any relation to me. And if what he's told them is what I think, when I find him, I'll kill him.

**Tris**

"Shut up!" One of the men hisses.

I'm going to mysteriously disappear. Or they are going to make it look like I killed myself.

"No! Let me go!" I try to shout from under his heavy hand. I try to bite it but it is clamped so heavily against me that it is useless.

My head, my heart, my being, has decided that I can't rely on someone to have heard me. I need to save myself.

"Wait, where are her shoes?" Alexandre barks. I hadn't realized that my shoes had been removed during my sleep, and we are already on the pathway back to Dauntless headquarters. I'm roughly turned back around and pushed back toward my apartment.

I yell into his hand.

"I told you to shut up!" One of the men says to me.

"No need to mishandle her, Matt." Alexandre says. I've calmed down and think that it is a good idea to get my back inside my apartment. I might be able to stall them, I might pretend to go along peacefully and wait for my moment to run or fight. But the men already seem to know that might be a bad idea.

"On second thought… forget the shoes."

I'm pushed back around and we start picking up the pace. And the little bit of hope for escaping is gone. I'm no match for three big men.

"Let me go!" I shout as loud as I can, but it is muffled by the hand that is clamped over my mouth. I try shifting, and slack into dead weight to make them work harder. I scream but probably the only people that can hear me are the men who are taking me somewhere unknown.

"Do you think you can handle it from here?" Alexandre asks the men. We are close to the building but not quite there yet. They both respond yes and as I'm being dragged toward the back of the building, Alexandre heads the opposite direction to the entrance.

It is useless; the men are hard stone muscle, but I notice they are starting to shift their weight to get a better handle on me. The grounds are eerily quiet as we near the building. We have stepped off of the path and now every stone, twig, and dried dead blade of grass is piercing the soles of my feet. I know I shouldn't waste my energy if there is no one around, but I scream again. As we near the building I see steps built into the side of the building and wonder why they are there. Are we going up? Maybe it is some type of fire escape? And where is everyone? Are we already under curfew? I wonder if anyone heard me scream, and I wonder where Tobias is. Once we are indeed at the steps, they pause for a couple of seconds and I manage to kick one of the guards where it matters. He loses his grip on me and crouches over in pain, grunting. I begin to struggle with all my strength. I see a shocked expressed on the one man who still holds me back, but while I'm somewhat free, the man grabs my bandaged arm and I yelp in pain. The other man recovers fast and fumbles for something in his pocket. A tiny glass jar. My mouth shuts in preparation. I'm not going to drink anything. But he brings the bottle toward me, grabs one of my arms to steady me and I try again but am unsuccessful on my second kick. I hope that Tobias isn't going through something similar. I hope that we aren't both being killed right now.

But the man doesn't bring it to my mouth even when the other man holds my head steady. A piece of cloth is brought out, a quick tip of the bottle and with the hand still clamped over my mouth, the fabric is shoved toward my nose.

The effects are quick. My eyes are drowsy, my thoughts begin to slow, my body relaxes. My weight feels tripled. I see a door is being unlocked. My feet don't move on their own anymore. I'm being tossed over a shoulder. I want to fight but…I don't. I'm calm, I feel peaceful.

There is another door. One of the men had gone up ahead and opened it. A flight of stairs that lead down. A basement?

And I feel that there should be sometime when I reflect upon my life. But there is not a moment when my life flashes before my eyes. It's too quick for that. I don't get a chance to think of my childhood or my parents or of Tobias. I see a dingy black and yellowed tiled floor, a single tear manages to fall and then—black.

**xxxxx**

Sometime later… minutes? hours? days? I wake up groggy in an all-white room. There is a lamp that is providing the only source of light in the room. I don't remember any dreams or nightmares or people. All that I know is that I'm missing time.

The door suddenly opens.

****~OOO~****

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><p><strong>AN **It seems that both Tris and Fourbias are in trouble. Any theories you want to share?

Also, sorry about the delay. Had some real-life stuff going on. I haven't deserted this story! The story continues and hopefully will finish just in time for INSURGENT to come out. (YAY for Insurgent!) Please let me know if I'm still writing for someone, by leaving me a review! I appreciate each and every one of my readers, which, I can say are the best readers/reviewers. Thank you for your continued support and see ya next chapter- **Chapter 8: Interrogation.** :)

Also, apologies, last chapter there was a MAJOR typo. It's fixed. If you notice anything else, it would be cool if you could send me a PM (PRIVATE MSG). Things like that drive me crazy and can be easily fixed. The story is still not betad. Apologies for any mistakes. If you can be of some assistance, had prior experience, or are just really good with correcting errors, send me a PM.

-~*Lo*~


	8. Interrogation

**This Chapter is rated T **for one instance of the "F" word. Please keep in mind that this story will be moved into the M category—soon, but I know my audience, and if I think it's iffy, I'll post an "unrated" version for some of the older readers separately. I own my original story but not the characters.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: Interrogation<strong>

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><p><strong>~OOO~<strong>

**Tobias**

"We were hoping you could fill us in on the details."

It's a wide-open question, but I don't _really_ know the conversation they've had.

"When we asked you to be one of the trusted people in charge, we didn't have the information we have now."

"What information is that?"

"It seems that you might have knowingly assisted a divergent rebel."

"Divergent rebel? What are you talking about?"

"Marcus said that Tris was wide-awake, that she knew what was going on, that she purposely shot members of our faction…as well as certain other things that will not be brought up at this time."

"Tris is not what you're trying to accuse her of. Calling her a rebel? She was going on survival. And if she shot anyone it was in self-defense. You should all be praising her! She helped stop the simulation. She prevented even more people from dying! So if you think that she is a betrayer, you have seriously fucking lost your ever-loving minds."

I'm reeling; my face getting red hot. If blood could boil mine certainly was. I feel my defenses coming up trying to shield her, put her out of the line of questioning and fire. I'm anxious to get back to her room and make sure she is okay. I wonder how far this meeting will go and what boundaries will be pressed.

"But how did the simulation not work on her? You know good and well that divergence has an incredibly bad track record. Their minds are different from ours. They are essentially freaks. They can cause friction and disharmony and division. We have monitored their actions to the best of our abilities. But we've also heard of underground movements among the factionless. It has never been a big priority; we've always been able to stay on top of strange things, weird test results…"

"Ah yes, I can take it from here," a man says. "We've noticed that there have been a couple of malfunctions regarding Tris's tests. We've found the original test administrator and have already questioned her. We are going to speaking with Tris separately and are looking forward to her answering some of our questions."

"Who cares about the tests?" I say, exasperated. "Are you listening to yourselves? How much simpler can it be put? Tris saved us all from being mindless killers! She should be rewarded not questioned. Why aren't we focusing on our special projects and on the real true enemy that is out there? And of the judgment that may be coming our faction's way?"

"We have reason to believe that some of the factionless have formed rebel groups so large that they could cause a full-fledged war. They could destroy the balance, kill people for not conforming. We certainly believe that a lot of those that get tossed out onto the city streets since they have nothing to live for. They are always recruiting and infiltrating in their plot to try to destroy the peace that we've held for so long. A lot of those people have proven to be divergent in their ways. We need to explore all options."

A woman this time speaks up. "Four, the administrator of Tris's original test said that there was nothing suspicious about her test and she has sworn that there was an error in the system. Due to her loyalty and service in our faction, we have no reason not to trust her word. You, on the other hand, have a relationship with Tris. Is that correct?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Another person chimes in. "You have _feelings_ for her, something that might make you turn a cheek, be blind to what is plain to see. If you were looking to hide something, it would be easy to do so. You have an investment in her as a person and it would be hard for anyone to want to put someone they care for in jeopardy. However, when we trust you with life changing projects and putting you in a leadership role, we have a certain faith and trust in your abilities to do your duties while being unbiased."

"I never asked to be put in charge."

I don't know who to address, since they are all taking shots at me, so I say it to the group of eyes staring at me.

"Please state the status of your relationship to Tris."

"She's my uh… I mean, I don't know. I care about her. And yes, I would do a lot to protect her from physical harm, but please believe me when I say that she is not who you need to focus on. If there was anything that led me to believe that she was causing some sort of underground rebellion, I wouldn't even hesitate. You are clearly mistaken."

"Very well," Alexandre says. "Thank you." We have some more things to discuss. We will talk to Tris later. Once we've come to some sort of conclusion, we will let you know. For now, we can't have you warn Tris about our questioning—so as to not influence her responses… of course."

"So what am I going to do?"

"We're going to put you on guard duty for the night. The current guards are going to keep you busy, until we are ready for you. We will meet back with you by early morning after we look at all sides. We hope to resolve this as soon as possible."

And just as quickly as the meeting began it was over and I was being escorted to the security checkpoint where I'd be spending the probably endless time waiting.

So many questions in my head began circulating. How would Tris respond? Are they going to ask her point blank about being Divergent? Did they have any suspicions of my divergence as well? Did I ask the right questions? Did I give them the right responses? Did I help or hurt her case?

Only thing I could count on was for Tris to just be natural about her role in the simulation. If she put the focus back on what she did to help the faction there was no way they'd have any other reason to believe that she was on the wrong side. And surely, there was no way in hell that she'd be exiled.

As the first 30 minutes began ticking by, far back inside of me at the ends of my brain, a creeping fear began to emerge. What if they were trying to keep me busy as a deterrent and Tris was in real danger?

**~OOO~**

**Tris**

The door opens.

_I'm alive. _I know I'm alive because the pain I currently feel is excruciating and this place… cold, poorly lit, and filthy. It could never be Heaven. At least, not the heaven I've been taught to believe in.

My head feels heavy as I try to lift it from the cold floor. My eyes are unfocused and all I see is a shadowy outline of a person. The door is quickly shut. It doesn't help the situation that the lighting in the room is poor at best. The footsteps are slower than I expect as they make their way semi-cautiously toward me. I scoot back onto my elbows and try and sit up. What I don't realize is how close the wall is to my head and even though I've barely moved, I hit my head—hard. I'm momentarily stunned as my vision darkens and causes even more of a hindrance in my sight.

"Ow," I say, but the words don't come out and instead my mouth opens like a fish out of water. My throat feels coarse and my lips are painfully chapped. I manage a sitting position, which rocks my balance even more. I imagine this is what it must feel like coming out of heavy sedation and I suppose that is what has happened to me. The person's face is blurry and I can't even tell if the person is male or female, so I focus on the clothes. Steel toe boots and black jeans and a t-shirt.

"Do you think you're ready to talk?" a woman's voice asks. It sounds friendly… familiar.

I cough into my hand and try and find my voice. _Am I ready to talk?_

She offers her hand and I take it—only so I can get a better view of her face and finally, _finally _I get a good look at the woman. I wobble as she helps me up off of the floor; my legs are stiff having been unmoved for I don't know how long. She smiles as she hands me a glass of water and a white capsule pill.

I ignore the pill and greedily take the glass of water, letting it quench my parched and sore throat.

"The pill will make your pain better," she says soothingly.

"Am I ready to talk?" I manage out. "Tori? Why am I here?"

She sighs and runs her hands through her hair. She looks unusually fidgety and I'm immediately on edge.

"I offered my assistance. They were going to send… someone else. I said I would talk to you on their behalf."

"What? Who's they?"

"The leaders." She pauses and then shoots me a pleading glance. "Tris, we are friends, right?"

Something about her asking me that question makes the hair at the back of my neck stand on end. I look down at my dirty hands. I'm unable to determine what is right and wrong and who genuinely cares.

"How long have I been here?"

"Just a couple of hours." The vile you were given was only supposed to cause you to relax and make you a bit drowsy. Because you are so small… and since it wasn't administered properly, the high-dose caused you to knock-out. They were all very worried."

"Worried? They dragged me out of my apartment, covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream, left me on a cold and dirty floor in a place I didn't even know existed. They didn't answer my questions. Where are the caretakers or nurses? How do I know that anyone cares?"

"Tris, I know you are scared and angry. They brought someone to check your vitals and everything was great. The only side effect is a bit of drowsiness and it will be gone soon."

"Can I get out of this place?"

"Yes. Of course! I don't know why they brought you here. I think they panicked because you weren't coming quietly. All they want is for you to answer a couple of questions. I'm going to take you myself."

I have the words, "you trust me, right?" pounding in my head like a sledgehammer. I've got an instant tension headache.

She pauses and I see a thoughtful expression form on her face.

"Listen carefully, Tris. They reviewed some salvaged camera footage from that night. Half of the leaders are calling you a divergent rebel, the others think you could be valuable. They are saying that you can't be trusted, that you killed Dauntless members, and yet some of the others think that you are suitable for a leadership role yourself. But they can't determine that until you answer their questions. I think it' just a matter of showing the others that you can be trusted, that you're on our side."

"I'm on their side? I know what is right and what is wrong."

She looks at me and frowns.

I'm stunned. I bask in the silence while Tori paces. I'm scared that people are saying what I am out loud and not under shushed whispers. They say I'm a divergent rebel. Am I? I feel like I've heard that phrase before and despite racking my brain, I can't find the memory of when I'd heard it before. And what's going on with the other factions? How are they reacting to the news? What's going on behind closed doors?

"Come on. The faster you answer the questions, the faster you can be back to your apartment," she says, and heads to the door. I think that there are going to be guards outside, like I'm a prisoner, but there is no one. Tori doesn't rough handle me, she just nods and I follow behind her as we walk down a hall and up a narrow set of stairs. I still don't know if the right thing to do is follow, but she doesn't insist, I go ahead, and I decide that I'm glad she's there with me. I regret not asking what I should do or what I should say because soon enough, we are walking into what looks like a meeting where I'm the star attraction.

The room is intimidating. People are sitting very still and they all have serious looks upon their faces.

"Hello, Tris," Alexandre says with a big smile on his face, breaking the silence. "I'm glad you are finally up."

I scoff even though I know I shouldn't.

"First of all, I owe you an apology. It wasn't our intention to drug you. We don't however need to make a scene or create chaos when everyone is already on edge."

"That's your apology?" I ask.

"This isn't a joke," someone says and I accidently bite hard into my cheek. "I'm pulled back into the present and of all the questions that might be coming my way.

"I'm sure Tori has caught you up to speed? All we wanted was a few questions answered and then we can sort everything out. It really is that simple."

Tori gives me a small nod and I take a seat among the all-business faces of the leaders. Tori then turns and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with basically are strangers. She shuts the door quietly as she exits. I search quickly over the faces of the people in the room and I don't see Tobias among them. I don't even see Lauren, Shauna, Zeke or any of the other lower-level leaders present. It is troublesome to say the least. It feels like it's me against the faction and I don't like the creepy vibe in the room.

"The basic question is simple. Did you knowingly kill or harm members of our Dauntless faction?"

I don't expect that to be the first question.

My heart races. It beats so fast I feel like I've been running.

I know what I should say.

Lie. One beat of silence.

_No._

Lie. Two beats of silence.

_Of course not!_

Lie. Three beats of silence.

I open my mouth and feel that same dry feeling emerge from when I first woke up.

"Yes," I say.

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN Thank you to those few of you who are still reading/commenting on my story. I really heart you. **I really don't know how far reaching my story is unless I get feedback, so please...if you read the chapter? Please let me know what you think. I know that not everyone is happy with the direction of my story, and that's okay too. It's definitely more encouraging to update when I know there are not just a couple of readers waiting for it. No one stepped to help beta... that means this is not beta'd. Anything you notice? just send me a PM and I'll correct it.**  
><strong>

Now...As you know, _**Insurgent comes out on May 1st! Woo hoo!**_ I hoped to fill the void by writing this story until it was ready to hear from the lovely, Veronica Roth again. I didn't get to finish this story in the time that I'd hoped (before Insurgent), but I hope that people still would like a resolution to the world I imagined before Insurgent came out. So, with that being said, MY story will have an "end," even though it will not be anything like what VR has done in the next installment! I may or may not decide to start again from the end of Insurgent or pick a couple of Four POV's in Insurgent going forward. In all cases, thank you so much for reading my story. The comments, favorites, and story alerts have been so amazing. I love this fandom! Until, next time readers… see ya next chapter!

Xoxo

Lo


	9. Who am I?

**This Chapter is rated T, for one instance of something that ryhmes with witch. **

I own my original story, not the characters.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Who am I?<strong>

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>LAST TIME…<strong>

"The basic question is simple. Did you knowingly kill or harm members of our Dauntless faction?"

I don't expect that to be the first question.

My heart races. It beats so fast I feel like I've been running.

I know what I should say.

Lie. One beat of silence.

_No._

Lie. Two beats of silence.

_Of course not!_

Lie. Three beats of silence.

I open my mouth and feel that same dry feeling emerge from when I first woke up.

"Yes," I say.

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><p><strong>~OOO~<strong>

**Tris**

My palms are sweaty. I see people lean forward and I wonder if anyone has even heard me.

The room becomes impossibly silent. Pin drop silent. I see multiple expressions crossing the faces of the men and women that have become the new leaders. All of a sudden I'm questioning my own sanity. What have I done? Don't I want to live?

If they had any doubts previously they cannot deny what I've just admitted. They—my self-appointed family—will surely kill me. Faction before blood. It is engraved in our brains and it's always up front and center.

A prior memory makes its way to the edge of my mind. I remember when I was twelve when one of our classmates got ill and passed away. A counselor from Amity came in with a brightly colored poster with a lesson on the cycle of mourning. She talked about the steps in the grieving process: denial, anger, depression, and later acceptance.

It occurs to me at this odd moment, in this silence, that I've pretty much bypassed the anger stage and wound up drowning somewhere in the depression stage. The stage that I'm in now contains guilt and worthlessness, and even a bit of pity. I deserve to be punished. _That _is the reason why I am now telling myself I have chosen to tell the truth. Surely my life was not more precious than Will's. He had people that loved him too, maybe even more so than me.

"Please state your answer louder, Tris," Alexandre says, breaking me out of my split second daydream. I see no kindness in his hardened eyes and his deep, husky voice.

"Everyone in this room needs to hear your _clear_ answer."

This time, I take longer to respond. I didn't mean to kill Will, and my honesty will protect me. And if it doesn't? What if all I had to respond with was "no" and everything could go back the way it was? I think of losing my family in this impossible and crazy circumstance. They were murdered, slaughtered, just simply by sticking by their beliefs and trying to protect me. Their deaths were not natural or "normal." And although I've had little time to grieve, I know at this exact moment that I'm responsible for their deaths too. And all the other people I aimed a gun at or shot at trying to get to Tobias and the room with the simulation. I think of the other slumped bodies scattered about. They wore black too.

Being truthful. It was the first thing that came to mind. There is a reason why factions are important in our society and why Candor is just as important to maintaining an ideal society as Abnegation, Dauntless, Amity, and Erudite. And even though I have no problem lying… in this situation? Without thinking? I chose to tell the truth. Who knew I also had a bit of Candor in me?

I've never been so stupid, so careless with a single word. Or maybe I have. Bravery is constantly at the edge of stupidity.

"Yes," I repeat, still only loud enough for to make sure it actually is heard. "But I didn't mean…"

I'm unable to complete the sentence. I _did_ mean to stop him. I wanted to live. I think of my lost friends. Will, of course, and I think of the scream that I was so certain was Christina's. _Yes, I'm guilty. I shot at others too. _

I realize that it's the first time I've admitted my shame out loud; it is terrifying and at the same time freeing. Chains broken, my heart a little lighter, and that pains me, because it shouldn't be as simple as admitting a wrong.

I don't hang my head in shame, even though I desperately want to. And I regret my answer, even though it's the truth. What I didn't consider is what this now means for my fate. I regret not choosing my words more carefully. But what is done cannot be undone.

I hear my labored breathing; it sounds uneven, like when you are pushing your limits during a hard run. I can't help think that I may have not made the best decision. I don't know who to look at, but I feel the daggers being thrown from peoples eyes. I grip the table. They are accusers. These are the same people that want to see me dead.

The room is immediately chaotic. I hear a mix of "I knew it!" "I told you!" "Traitor!" "She's the leader!" and "I can't believe she admitted so easily! What else is she hiding?" and "Let the girl speak!" and even "She answered truthfully! Let her finish!"

And they all speak louder and above each other. I move from gripping the table to wringing my hands under the table. I wait for some sort of order to be called, but Alexandre is busy arguing with someone else in the room. Some people are standing. Some stay seated. A few of them pace. And as I look at the faces and body language of the people in the room, I see their squinted eyes, exaggerated hand movements, pointed fingers, red faces, and serious debates. All the words start to blend together and I only catch fragmented sentences and random words. But for every encouraging word I hear, it sounds like two more negatives are screamed.

And somewhere amidst this mess I think, I hope Caleb is safe. And Tobias? Have the gotten to him too? _Please let them be safe. _ What if the last thing I see in this world are these strangers?

I take a quick peek over my shoulder at the closed door. There were no guards when I was brought in. I'm small and fast, and with everyone arguing I could make a run for it. Except I am a bit disoriented from whatever it is that knocked me out. Most importantly, I don't even know where the nearest exit is. With the amount of people in this room, I would be easily caught. _But at least I could go down fighting._

I catch the eye of one of the few woman leaders in the room, a woman who sits across from me and seems impartial. Her dark black and purple hair is curly, her face is round, and her eyes are bright green with specks of gold in them. Her eyes slant when our eyes meet, and she looks away quickly. I see her scan her peripheral vision. She appears to be the calm surrounded by the storm. Suddenly she stands up.

"You will pay for what you did, you little bitch!"

She lunges across the table, fanning a sea of papers onto the table and sending some of them fluttering to the floor. I jump up, backing away and automatically aiming myself for the only door in the room. But she is fast and leaps easily over the table. She grabs my shirt collar, throwing me hard against the nearest wall. I feel the air knock out of me and with that small pause, it gives her the upper hand. With her free hand, she aims for my bandaged arm, but I anticipate that coming and jerk out of the way. When she comes up empty, she settles for a small handful of my hair. I twist my body using my size to try to wiggle out of her grip as she yanks. I feel a painful burning as she manages to pull a mass of hair from my head.

We are separated, but it isn't long as she gets a better hold on my hair and clutches it so tight my head is pulled down, hard and I'm forced to look at the filthy floor. "Soon she has twisted my arm in an unnatural position and it aches so bad, a strangled scream comes from my mouth and I begin to see spots of blackness appear in my vision. My body doesn't want any more pain.

The room is eerily quiet when moments before it was hard to pick out individual words. It appears that they are stunned in place as no one appears to know what to do. I find it ironic that in a room full of leaders, there is no one that will step forward to help me. And then it hits me. They don't want to help me. Why should they? Dauntless are trained for fighting. We are trained to kill, or rather protect. If I was on the other side looking in, what would I see? Who am I? Am I really the enemy? It can't end like this! They need to know the reasons I did what I did. What if no one had stopped the simulation until everyone was wiped out, that had to count for something!

Somewhere, a voice tells me to fight back. It sounds a lot like Four, the instructor, when I didn't really know him.

I regain a bit of energy and somehow manage to knock the woman in her stomach with a wild swing of my hand. "Agghhhh!" I yell out, putting every ounce of my weight into the swing. It isn't enough to knock her down, but when she flinches and stumbles a bit, I'm able to lift my head awkwardly and at least stand to face her. I put the remaining strength into my arms and hands, feeling the warmth and pulse in her neck as I reach for the easiest thing to try to make her stop—her throat. She gasps and gargles, but she is stronger and taller than I am. She pushes me again toward the wall and I knock my head so hard, I see spots blur my vision, and my hands lose their grip from her neck.

Her eyes don't look furious, they look determined and even calm amidst the chaos. She uses the moment that I look into her eyes to send a biting slap across the right of my face. Someone grabs the woman by her arm, finally, and she swings back with an elbow to their face. I hear an unnatural pop and then see the blood trickle from one of the men's nose. The whole thing could have lasted a minute, but it feels like ages.

"Helen! Enough!" Alexandre says. He is literally the last person I expect to try to stop this fight. "Would you care to share why you couldn't wait for us to continue questioning before taking upon yourself to attack?"

_Funny, I hope he practices what he preaches._

I back up against the wall. My hands are shaking and my legs give out as I slump to the floor. No one rushes to my side.

Helen, the woman who attacked me, is restrained by two of the men in the room. From my spot on the floor, I see the light of her fight come out of her eyes. She stops struggling, but the men hold onto her arms anyway.

"She killed Tom. On the video… She and that group of people she was with. It was her! She shot him and then took his gun. She walked over him like he was dirt beneath her boots. He didn't deserve to die like that!" Her eyes water and I see the edges in her soften. She turns back to me. "Do you know how hard it was to go back to our apartment? To see our unmade bed and the room just as he left it?" I see a faraway look in her eyes and can imagine her thinking of a sweet moment between them.

This is surprising news to me. To hear another name of someone that found death by me. It hadn't even occurred to me about what happened to the other people that I injured or… killed. They had lives and relationships with others. There was a destination I was headed to and every single one of the people who got in our way was a blank face and an obstacle and nothing more. But they all have stories like Helen's. They were family members or friends or lovers. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I could be among the dead too.

It's my turn to talk. I use the wall to balance myself back in a stand.

"I'm sorry."

I look at Helen first, then at the rest of the room. "I know that that's not something that you want to hear from me, now or maybe ever." She looks away, like I'm the most vile person. And it's probably true, now that I know of another name to add to my list of people who died because of me. The tears reach the surface and trickle down my cheek. "I lost people too. My mom and dad… friends."

"The footage was reviewed recently. We've seen a lot of stuff on the videos. We've even seen ourselves shoot and even kill people. Our concern is that you knew what you were doing. We all agree that you are Divergent. This is both reckless and dangerous. The rising of the factionless has become more and more of a problem. It appears to have picked up substantionally once you chose to transfer from Abnegation to Dauntless. Maybe it's a coincidence... And while suspending the simulation was the best outcome possible, we cannot excuse that you shot and now admitted to killing members of our faction."

It seems shameful when Alexandre calls me Divergent. I feel a shiver run up my spine to the back of my neck when he says that there is not excuse.

"I will not dispute that I am Divergent, Alexandre," I say rejectedly. "I don't care anymore. My brain works differently and if that makes me a freak, so be it. But what I will say is that I fought my butt off to protect people that I loved. I shot at members of the faction because they wanted to kill me. I challenge anyone in my situation to not fight for their lives when put in such a dire situation." I pause and take a big breath. "I have deep regrets for the lives that were lost at my hand. But doesn't everyone else feel the same?"

I suddenly feel empowered. I wonder where my strength is coming from.

"Four said the same… that you deserved praise and not accusation."

My eyes snap at the mention of Tobias. "Four? Where is he?" I say.

Suddenly the guard that I had up, has come crumbling down. I'm nervous.

"He's out on other business."

"Is he okay?"

"Of course."

His reponse doesn't comfort me.

"We need to have some discussion before we can let you go," Alexandre says. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

It only takes me a second to respond.

"Did anyone else wake up with blood on their hands or clothes? Did you wake up holding a gun with shells all around? I know that I'm not perfect and my tactics to get here may not have been the smoothest. But even more blood could have been spilled. If there had been no one to fight their way to have the simulation stopped, would we all be standing here,now?"

I scan the eyes of the crowd again looking for a response. And though I expect to see some encouraging looks, most people don't show any sign of agreement. I do see a nod from someone in the room and a couple of people looking at each other, but no one answers me. This is discouraging and deflating to the small hope that I was beginning to hang on to.

I've done all I could. Said all I could in my defense. I don't have any regrets in these conversations anymore.

"Thank you. You will not go home tonight, Tris. You seem to get along easy with Tori. She will escort you to a holding area and a nurse will be brought in to help you with your injuries, and she will administer some medication. We will meet with both you and Four as soon as we have come to a majority decision. Both of your fates are almost even. I cannot say whether the decision will be in one hour or one month."

I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I don't even feel the pain until he mentions my injuries. But the most encouraging thing I hear in his words is not that I will get attention from a nurse. It is that I will see Four soon. And if we should meet the same fate, at least we will see each other again.

I need him so much right now.

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN**

**THANKS! to anyone who has commented/favorited/set up story alerts! ** I appreciate all of them! I'm into milestones so I'd love to get to 100 total reviews for my story. Can we do it? Please let me know what you think, and I'll even take the anon ones too. I get "paid" in reviews so please leave me some feedback.

**Special thanks** to Kuraun Kuraun who agreed to beta. =) I did make a few changes, so all mistakes are my own.

And did everyone read INSURGENT? OMG! *fangirls* So here's the deal: my story's outline was planned before I read Insurgent and I still plan to follow it. Enemies could be friends could be enemies. ;) However, there are some things that were found out that I may use and/or expand upon. I hope to see everyone back here next chapter...we may or may not see an interesting reunion.


	10. Freedom, sort of

**This chapter is rated T.**

I own this original story but I don't own the characters... darn!

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Freedom, sort of<strong>

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>TRIS<strong>

I've just realized that I'm still without shoes. I feel like a criminal, not even allowed or given courtesy to wear my shoes. Tori is supposed to come and get me, but she hasn't shown up yet. I'm back in some random room and hall that I never knew existed before a few days ago.

The nurse applies some salve on my wounds and it burns, causing me to clench my teeth and whimper in pain. She's been chatting away and she might have even asked me some questions. I think I've nodded a couple of times in response. I don't feel like chatting. What's the point in fixing me if they are going to kill me or send me into the scary unknown of the Factionless? Every couple of minutes the thoughts in my mind change. Do they believe me? Am I as dangerous as everyone thinks I am? I did what any normal, sane person would do! How could they punish me? Why would Tobias share my fate? It's so ridiculous that I want to throw something, but in this bare walls room, there's nothing worth throwing.

"This will help the healing along dramatically. They gave you a bit of a quick fix when you were admitted to the hospital in Amity. Almost seems like they wanted you to be hurt for a longer period of time." Under her breath she says, "They wouldn't dare." I look up at her questioningly, but she doesn't notice or if she does, it doesn't faze her.

"There were so many injuries, doctors were giving priority to the ones who had more severe injuries. They said they had a shortage, but I remembered we still had a couple of bottles in our nurse's station here at our headquarters. Thank goodness!"

Paranoia. That's what happens, I've noticed when you are left alone in an all-white walled room with a dirty floor that contains exactly one chair and one really old looking wood table. It's a different room from previously; I suppose this one might even be an upgrade. I feel better, as in, less pain. The arm that had a bullet in it already feels healed and is almost back to full strength.

I start to think that this might be prison. This lonely hall is so quiet and so out of the way, that this might be where all of the Dauntless criminals go. What I must be. A criminal. A killer. But why can't I hear anyone else? Must be the paranoia. I also start to think that Amity was/is hording the salve for their own people, when it's totally against their values. I think that Tori is never coming for me, they just want me to think everything will be okay. I was given a meal. My final meal? I didn't realize how hungry I was until I had my first bite of mashed potatoes. I wish the room had a window in it at least so I could estimate what time it was. I'd heard the lock of the door when the nurse left, but I tried it again just to make sure. It was locked.

Waiting. All I do is pace and wait.

Later, someone comes to deliver a cot with an itchy blanket. I've never seen the man, but his bulging muscles and hand gun lead me to believe that it would be stupid to try anything. Regardless, I don't feel much of a fight in me anymore. My eyes feel very heavy, and so while I wait for Tori, I take a nap. Only, it isn't a nap.

I dream of my family having dinner, but we have two guests. Tobias and Marcus. I'm younger, maybe about 9 or 10. Tobias is picking at his food, and Marcus scolds him for "playing" with it. It feels like a genuine memory, but I know it's not.

The next morning, Tori finally comes to get me. She brings my shoes.

"I thought you were coming for me last night. Do you know anything about Four? Have they made a decision? Where are we going?"

"Woah there, that's a lot of questions," Tori says. "Four is fine. No decision has been made, but they will allow you to go back to your apartment. You are okay to move about freely, as long as you stay here. But, I've been told that there are armed guards that will be following your whereabouts. I'll walk you over."

"I'm going to be followed?" I say, exasperated. I turn around and a few feet back I see the guy that brought me the cot walking behind us.

I am relieved to hear that Tobias is fine. I just wish I could see him for myself. I figured that they'd probably be treating us pretty much the same though, and wondered if he was also being held somewhere. Was he being released now too?

"It won't be for long. I can't say for certain because I don't know... but I don't think that they'd let you wander around if they didn't trust you. I think it's just a matter of time."

We pass a few people, but no one that I recognize, on our way back to my apartment. I wonder if anyone has realized that I have been missing. Why didn't anyone hear my screams? Or maybe no one cared.

We talk about my questioning and the fight with the woman, Helen. We discuss my chances of remaining here, while the guard keeps a respectable distance from us. She tells me that when she had woken up from the simulation, she had blood on her boots and shirt. She'd had a gun in her hand with one bullet remaining in the chamber. It jogs my memory of the time I'd seen her put a bullet through an Abnegation council member's head. I don't tell her. She says she has had nightmares every night and wakes up thinking she has blood on her hands. I see the bags under her eyes as proof that she has had struggles. I think this is what is bonding us now. When we reach my apartment, she says that she's rooting for me, and hopes everything will be resolved as soon as possible. It is the first little bit of hope that has allowed to creep into my mind in a while. I think I can trust her.

"Let me know when you want another tattoo," she says, after she turns to go back. "Or how about a piercing?" She smiles.

"Sure," I answer. "A piercing… someday."

A bit of optimism. Maybe there will be a someday after all for me.

I open my door and see that my room has been searched. I didn't have much to begin with, since my stuff wasn't even unpacked, but my belongings are tossed about in an explosion across my floor. _Great!_ Not only do they treat me poorly, they have to toss my limited possessions around.

I lock my door and start picking things up. I don't remember what I did with the hard drive or when the last time I remember having it. There's nothing I can do now.

When I'm done picking everything up, I take a long shower. Changing into clean undergarments and an oversized t-shirt has never felt better. I comb my hair out and take quick glances of the mirror, still not confident in really taking my time to examine my reflection. Still, in these tiny glances, I look so much like my mother. And it hurts. I put the brush down and do a quick search through some drawers I hadn't opened. I don't know what I'm planning or expecting to do until I see them. A pair of scissors. I make a messy braid and then clip half of it off with the scissors. I unravel my braid and pass my hands through it to see what mess I've made. It is a choppy mess of waves, and it surprising doesn't look too bad.

I towel dry my hair and brush my teeth and step out of the bathroom.

A tall shadow in my living room walks forward. I scream at the top of my lungs and duck back into the bathroom, grabbing the scissors as my weapon.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Thank you my dear readers! ** I'd appreciate a review if you are reading. Have I told you how much you guys rock lately? No? You're awesome! I almost made my 100 review goal on the last chapter. I should definitely hit that mark with this one. **So... assuming I get to the 100 review mark, I've got a surprise. Chapter 11: All of You, **is already done. It's with the beta and I'll be posting it this weekend or next week. And if I don't make that mark... I will be a sad panda, but I'll still post it anyway sometime next week. Make sure you have your story alerts on.

**Special Thanks** to my sweet beta, Kuraun Kuraun for catching my stupid mistakes and providing great advice.

Finally, thanks so much for your patience! I appreciate the PM's and encouraging reviews because they motivate me. SO MUCH! I wish I could get paid for writing, but I must do "actual" work in my real life (10 hrs a day.) Please stick w/ me and I promise to give you the best story I can, if only a little slower than some other writers.

**xoxo**

**~*Lo*~**


	11. All of You

**This Chapter is rated T. **Please be advised that if you've read Insurgent, I've taken this a "tiny" bit further. I feel as if the majority of my readers are in the teen range, so I'll assume that going forward.

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: All of You<strong>

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>TOBIAS<strong>

"Tris! It's me. I'm so sorry I scared you."

"Oh my God!" she says, shoving me with so much force she actually causes me to stumble back a step. I'm a bit proud of that for some reason.

"I could have had a heart attack! You could have been stabbed with a pair of scissors!"

She is pissed. But she closes her hand around the scissors and puts her arms around me. Tris buries her face in my chest as I hug her back tightly. Her skin is slightly damp, and her hair smells like roses. She's wearing a long black t-shirt. "I'm so glad to see you, Tris." She nods and then stands on her tip-toes to give me a soft kiss.

She backs away from me then and punches my arm.

"I can't believe you scared me like that! Ugh! My heart was in my stomach!"

I put my hands up in self-defense. "I'm sorry, but you should really lock your door. It's not safe, leaving it open like that. Anyone could just walk right in…"

"What?" she says, looking at me like I was speaking another language.

"I saw Tori, and she told me that you were back in your apartment. I knocked, but I guess you didn't hear since you were in the shower; then I just tried the knob, and it was open."

I stare back at her all of a sudden, noticing that her hair is shorter. "You cut your hair?"

"Um, yes, but that's not the point!"

It was my turn to be confused. "What?"

"I locked the door! I came inside the apartment and everything was tossed around. I picked everything up, then went to shower. I know I locked the door."

Immediately, what comes to mind is that someone was in the apartment when Tris came in and when she went to shower, they took that opportunity to leave. I don't tell her that because that is the most frightening thing that could have happened. The theory I want to go with is that Tris was so upset with her items scattered around that she just _thought_ she had locked the door. I don't tell her that either; I'd probably get another shove.

Instead of telling her my theories, I tell her about that day we were both taken in for questioning. I tell her that I went back to my apartment to gather my things and saw that my apartment was torn apart too. I say it must have been for the hard drive. We launch into stories about our encounters. I get so angry at how she was taken and drugged like she was guilty before even getting her story. She tells me she doesn't know what she did with the hard drive and I tell her that I hid it while she slept. We go to her couch and hidden inside a hole I made in the stuffing, it remains. She seems relieved. I tell her that it's probably best to destroy it; there is no point in keeping it, and it will be easy to duplicate anyway. She agrees. We stomp on it and throw some pieces in the trash, and the others I will dump in the chasm.

After catching up, I say something that surprises even me.

"Maybe I, uh, should stay with you tonight," I say. "I don't want any other late night awakenings where some stupid person comes to drag you away. They'll probably be looking for us both at the same time, anyway."

It doesn't take her long to respond.

"Yes," she says. "Please stay. I've got this feeling that someone could just jump out and abduct me."

Earlier that morning, Alexandre had called for me. I'd spent hours with the guards on duty, but they didn't let me do anything so all I did was accompany one of the guards around as they made their rounds. They were letting Tris and I back into our own apartments, but they'd be calling for us again soon; I was to relay the message to her. They have decided to go with a majority ruling among the leaders regarding what, if any, punishment will be given. I tell this to Tris, and she seems to be in good spirits. She told me what by Tori said about letting us walk about, and I agree. They wouldn't have let us go yet if they were unsure. We _had_ to be safe. I could feel that it would be better soon.

We spent the rest of the afternoon organizing her apartment, putting things where they should be. We also made a trip to get a few essentials that she had been missing and hadn't had a chance to get. I don't question her decision to by hair dye. I know it was silly to follow her around and not go and do my own errands, but I didn't want her out of my sight, at least for the time being.

**TRIS**

"I can sleep out here on the couch, that way if I hear anything suspicious, I can let you know."

"Oh, right…" I say. "Well, goodnight."

I give him a kiss on the lips and he holds me tight. "Have sweet dreams," he says.

"You too."

I spend the next hour tossing and turning. Except this time my mind is on Tobias.

I know that love isn't a word that I wanted to ever take lightly. In fact, love isn't a word I'd have as part of my vocabulary. I always knew that my parents loved each other, but looking at them interacting was not anything extraordinary. Their love never made me think that I couldn't wait to find that special person. I never longed to find this spark of romance with a boy; it was far off of my radar. I never imagined what it would be like for me. I always knew that I would get married one day, and I'd get to hold someone's hand and kiss, and that person would be my best friend through life's up and downs, but that seemed like such a grown up thing, somewhere that was so long down the line for me, that I never even considered it.

But no one prepared me for what the feeling of love was like, because I never_ truly_ saw it until it hit me.

I never imagined that at sixteen years old, I'd look into someone's eyes and feel like my heart was singing. That the fluttering inside me only got stronger when I was near him. I never saw myself craving a person so much that when he wasn't near me, my body felt way too heavy and wrong. And maybe, in another time or world, sixteen was not a time that someone could say "I love you," and truly mean it. But, the thought of losing Tobias is too much to bear. We've been through a lot together and maybe that was why it made it so easy to say that I loved him, once. I felt it more than once. What I'm feeling now is too good for this not to be love.

I sneak over to the couch and see that Tobias is already asleep. Him being here means so much, and I'm glad it was him that suggested it. I hate to wake him up, but I just want to be near him.

"Tobias?"

He shoots up and looks at me and then around the room as if expecting to see chaos somewhere.

"I guess it is my time to scare you," I say with a nervous laugh.

"Did you hear something?"

"No, No. I'm just… do you want to come sleep with me in my bed? I know this sofa is not the most comfortable thing."

"I'm perfectly fine," he says carefully. "You don't have to worry about me. It's not so bad." He swallows and I see his Adam's apple move in the darkness. I also clearly see that he is missing a shirt.

_What am I doing!_

"God, Tobias! You are making this so difficult for me," I say with a laugh. "Please come stay with me in my bed, because I want to be next to you."

"Oh."

He gets up and probably forgets that he's wearing little clothing. Black boxer shorts and no shirt, it's not helping that my heart is hammering so loudly in my chest. I look at the floor to avoid his gaze.

"Okay," he says, like it's no big deal. "I should put some clothes on."

"No," I say a little too loud. He chuckles. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable by sleeping in your clothes."

I lay on the bed first, on my back and he does the same. I consider putting on some sleep shorts, but I'm already laying down and don't want to make things any more awkward by jumping up and rushing to the bathroom to change. We couldn't be further from each other on the bed anyway, still it feels good enough. He falls asleep within ten minutes, while I am so incredibly still to the point of discomfort. In his sleep, he turns to face me and I take that opportunity to get comfortable and turn to face him. I watch him for a few seconds before closing my eyes, but I still can't sleep. My mind is full and will not shut up.

Approximately an hour later, I open my eyes again and Tobias' breathing has become thicker, not quite snoring, but heavy. Tobias smells like a mix of trees and soap which is oddly comforting. I move my head slightly and he pushes forward a bit, inching closer to me and seemingly unaware that we're sharing a bed. I try to go to sleep, to let my body give in to dreams, but having him so near has me on edge. Even though my body is exhausted, I can't make myself find sleep. My body stiffens when his hand accidentally brushes my leg. I wonder if I'll ever relax when we are this close to each other.

"Tris," he mumbles. I instinctively freeze but quickly realize that he is not awake. I smile because he must be dreaming of me. I back up a bit, but his hand comes up to my side. I study his facial features in the dark. He is so handsome with his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open, and his hair sticking out all over. I start to bring my hand forward to tuck his hair back a bit and then stop myself.

Later, I must have finally found sleep because I wake up suddenly and it is uncomfortably hot. I am sweaty and my hair is stuck to my forehead. Then I realize why. My back is toward him but Tobias is so close to me now, his body heat has warmed me up. When I look over I see that he has kicked off his side of the blanket and only one foot remains covered. I am partially uncovered because of this. I hear him breathing deeply behind me. I start to ease away from him, but I only manage a little room because I'm already dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

Then his arms guide me back, his arms pull me back by my waist and I feel the warmness of his chest.

"Tris? Are you awake?"

I almost jump out of the bed, not expecting him to be awake. I turn around to face him and he has a sleepy grin on his face.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he says. "I just… I'm just… I wanted to make sure you were real."

"I'm here, I'm real," I say leaning in to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. But when I pull back, I see his serious looking eyes.

"Are you okay with me being here? Do you need the bed to yourself? I don't mind sleeping on the floor. Or back on the couch. I can put some more clothes on..."

If it were light, my cheeks would be on fire. "No, No, it's fine. I can be an adult about this."

"Good, because I'm not used to sleeping with so much clothes on." His voice is thick with sleep.

"Does it bother you that I'm only in this shirt? Because I can change too…"

"No," he says. "I don't want you to change. It's way too hot for that. Maybe we should open a window?"

I jump up immediately and open the window. There's not much of a breeze outside, but I'm sure anything might help.

When I get back in bed, he pulls me into a hug and we start slowly kissing, our lips moving in perfect synchronization. Our mouths open and our tongues mingle together adding a new depth to a simple kiss. Our kissing has sparked something from within that travels from my toes to my heart. And my hands go into his soft hair as the easy sounds of kissing fill the previously quiet air. He grabs the sides of my head. Our lips move with a stronger urgency, our breathing becomes a bit heavier trying to keep up with each other. My foot rolls over his and the slight move makes both of us a bit frenzied. A tiny bit of contact. Tobias removes one hand from the side of my head to my knee that creeps up to my thigh. I feel goose bumps form at the back of my neck. He stops there when he feels me freeze.

"I'm sorry," he pants.

"No, it's okay," I say, answering him with a kiss. His hand rises to my waist, it tickles a bit and I giggle against his mouth. He smiles. He kisses me once on my mouth and then right below my ear. It feels really warm inside the room, my body, the warmth coming from him, like my entire body is blushing. Goosebumps continue to rise over my arms, I feel sweat form at the back of Tobias's neck. I feel the back of his head, my hands pulling a bit at the ends of his hair. My hands find his back, rough and muscular, pushing him closer to me than we've ever been. I imagine the tattoos that I've seen there.

And my mind tells me to stop. Or rather, it yells at me to stop.

I pull back, because all of a sudden I'm scared that I'll never want to stop kissing him, never want to stop holding him, touching him. "I've never done this before," I say, my voice trembling.

"I'd be surprised if you had, being Abnegation and all," he jokes.

"It's okay, I'm not rushing you. We don't have to," he answers. He pulls back, kissing me on my nose and giving me a bit of room. And I think that he must be disappointed that I've let him get this close to me, only to pull away, to crawl away into myself. I'm not ready to conquer this fear. It's the unknown of it all, falling into darkness, just like on choosing ceremony day. But when I see him in the darkness, I don't see disappointment across his face.

My body and mind tell me two different things. But I'm not ready to overcome my overwhelming fear. Is he ready? I realize where the fear is coming from, at least I think I do. Is this what it is like to be self-conscious? It's an odd feeling. What if he thinks I'm too childish? What if he does see my body and realizes just like Peter did, that I'm a disappointment to look at. But what if we don't have tomorrow? And if there is a tomorrow… will I always hit a point where I have to force myself to stop?

There's quietness in the room again. He's given me space, even though I'm not even sure I want it. He asks a question that makes me feel like he could read my mind.

"What do you think is going to happen to us?" he asks.

I wonder if he means "us" as in our relationship, or if he means our fates in the hands of the leaders.

"I wish I knew," I answer for both meanings.

_What if we die tomorrow? Will there be regrets? _

**~OOO~**

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><p><strong>AN** Thank you so much to those of you who have continued to read and review! It means so much to see that I still have readers out there. Please, don't be shy, any and all feedback is helpful. Thanks to you, I've reached my 100 review milestone. :'')

Special thanks to my beta, Kuraun Kuraun.

I still have a few chapters to go before this story wraps up. Please stay with me. Although I can't promise another new chapter in a week, I still have a bit more story to tell. Don't forget to put my story on alert. See ya next chapter!

xoxo

~*Lo*~


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